Photo Credits: Here

Lumabas ako’t bumili nang kape, naglalaro ang mga bata sa kalye. Pagbalik ko, aba! Nag-aaway away na sila wala namang eleksyon samen. Sigaw nung isa: “Yo mama is so fat she doesn’t have a tailor, she has a contractor!” Aba! Ba’t nasali ang momma?! Sumagot ang isa: “Yo mama is so fat, weight watchers won’t even look at her!” Mga gagong batang to! Future pa naman to ng Amerika! Pwe!

It’s about 8:33 am now in the East Coast of the United States, March 13 (yeah, I am posting this entry pabalik March 6 dahil I am way late updating this site) and our collective blog, Barrio Siete is currently experiencing a slow down. Actually, this all started yesterday.

I was at the bar last nite with a friend.

Me lumapet, nakiki-chika.

Di ko kursunada, masyadong presko.

Tapos na ang bagyo, mahangin pa ang gago.

Pinagbigyan ko.

After a while… “Can I have your number?”

Sabi ko, “It’s in the phonebook.”

“But I don’t know ur name” sabi nya.

“Well, it’s in the phonebook too!”

Mainit ang ulo ko!

Eh kasi, I went nga for a job interview today.

It was going well until I started talking about “due diligence”.

Na-excite and interviewer biglang bumirit talking about his cia-style daw of due diligence for an investment company in New York, made offer, close deal, made monies, moved to San Francisco, assigned in Boston, got married, settled in Philadelphia.

He blabbed for about 45 minutes siguro!

Amfuta!!! ~!@#$%!!

I-interview-hin daw ako?!

Job interview horror story!

Pwe!

(Photo Credits: Sorry, wala akong camera at kung meron man, tyak babanatan ako.)

So yun nga, yesterday, wa nga nangyari with my gym.

At dahil blinag ako as fat fugly faggot na unemployed paedophile living on food stamps illegal alien nang mga demonyo sa manila, i was determined ever na mag-gym.

Gagandang muli ako.

Magni-ning-ning ang kagandahan ko.

Makikita nila.

So, drive ako. When I got there…

amputa! me nag-susuntukan!

Dumating mga pulis!

Indi ako nakapasok.

Pinasara ang gym!

Ang mga leche! ~!@#$%^#@!

It’s been a long time.

Very long time.

I drove to the gym… no no, not the car inside the gym.

Parked my car.

Stared at the building.

Exercising my eyes I guess.

Then drove back home.

WTF?!

Pano ako gaganda nang ganito?!

Photo Credits: Katnip

I had no idea what Fabella is, where it is, what it is or kung ano pa man sya. I would find out from Kutz, one B7 regular, the what’s of Fabella. You’d have to read the entry here to find out how it all started. But let me pick up the hilarious conversation:

Plannggg!!! Ang sisterette kong naga specialize sa OB-GYN eh lumipat after a year. Sa dami ng pinapaanak nya everyday diyan sa Fabella, mga aring tinatahi, etc, parati na lang daw siyang nalilipasan ng gutom! Ang masama pa, by the time na she is able to sneak out to eat her meal, pati raw itsura ng pagkain sa pinggan naa associate niya na sa p*ki!

Can you imagine?! Yung kinakain mong pizza eh tingin mo eh isa na syang p*ki?! Hahaha! Now, that’s one way to go on a diet! Haha!

Ateng kelangan na talaga ng birth control noh. Kawawa naman yung mga bata. Yung isang sister ko first year ng residency nya eh sa Fabella. Ateng indi nakayanan ng alindog nya, HAHAHAHAHA, sa isang araw na duty mo eh average na trenta pinapaanak! Parepareho pa kamo halos ang demographics;

Pang ilang anak na ito Misis? Pang walo na po.

Anong trabaho ni Mister? Construction lang po

Eh kayo ho? Sa bahay lang po

Ilang taon ang panganay? Six po

Misis, papatali na po ba kayo sabay sa panganganak na ito? Pag uusapan pa po uli naming mag asawa, ayaw po pumayag nung asawa ko eh.

I ran across the spanish or latin version of the “We are the world” and was pleasantly surprised to find out, it’s just as equally beautiful… check this out!

Na-alala ko, madalas akong mapagalitan nang mga boylets.

“Tigilan mo na nga kaka-istok saken!” sabi nung isa.

Now ko lang nalaman ang deprensya.

Ang mga gagong yun! Hmpt! Grrr!

Nag-bakasyon ang friendship. Rampa sya sa init nang Florida. Pinag-katiwala ang balay nya to me.

Meanwhile, nag-delubyo sa lugar namen and three blizzards hit. Nag-snow storm pa nung isang araw with matching winds na mababali ang buhok mo. So, while opening the door, bumigwas ang hangin, the door slammed so hard, bumigay ang door lock, nasira.

Pina-ayos ko sya.

Tumawag, send ko daw piktyur nung pinaayos ko.

Ayun, si-nend ko.

Bastos! Sya pa ang galet!

Hindi daw nya nagustuhan ang pinaayos ko.

Hindi ko maintindihan.

Eto ang pina-ayos ko.

This entry is a repost. You will find the original entry in Barrio Siete.

Retards. They seem to be the “in” word these days for losers who have hidden agendas. Sarah Palin wanted President Obama to fire White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel for a comment she characterizes as a “slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities” when Rahm Emanuel used the word “retarded” in a close door meeting. But when Rush Limbaugh used the same word in his regular radio broadcast, that was exempted from Sarah Palin’s ire for according to her, it was satire.

I don’t expect Sarah Palin to ask the Australian nor the Canadian government to reprimand blogger Gorrell for calling me a retard. That won’t stick anyway, for if you read Gorrell’s badly written blog entry, one could easily conclude who is retardedly immature, anyway. Especially coming from someone who criticizes my writing style, that I can’t write. Eherrm!

Brian Gorrell is no writer either, and even if one can write, it does not automatically make them a “writer”. Some hire ghost writers, others call them PPP or review me! Hahaha! And I hope all these grammar and spelling nazis get nightmares at night correcting my entries in their sleep.

And it’s a shame for a blogger who flaunts himself working for a good cause in one hand, and insulting retarded people on another. That doesn’t seem to reconcile, correct? That’s just to show you the lack of integrity. Shallow, fake and make believe.

This is the ugly reality of online blogging. Sounds similar to survivor series, online island style. On the bright side, there’s a number of points to be learned from Brian Gorrell’s very personal attack to Reyna Elena.

Blogging is like education. If you have a good foundation in education, finished schooling and have a degree, sans any financial crisis or any crisis whatsoever, you’ll have some pretty good survival chances and by luck and umpt formula, you might even succeed less the wonders of photoshop.

So like having good education, if your blog foundation is suspiciously evil, you won’t last long and whatever initial success you have in terms of readership and popularity, it will evaporate as fast as it hovered on you. Not even your celebrity status (perceived, imaginary or real, or medically injected) will help you gain traffic and/or readership. Celebrity status after all, is never an insurance in blogging.

And so, this is what I believed happened to Brian Gorrell’s blog whose blog foundation was intrinsically flawed from the beginning for it was basically based on shaming people, only. One purpose, one objective modified to play on pity to gather sympathy. And Filipinos love to sympathize on dramatics. Admit it, like me, a lot of you were bought by this scheme. It was good until it lasted wasn’t it? Until such time that he can no longer feed his readers with trash, then the traffic disappeared. The law of diminishing returns strucked Brian Gorrell’s blog so fast, his blog is now going into oblivion.

In what seemed to be a desperate attempt to resuscitate his dying blog, Reyna Elena now becomes his newest target in his shaming vendetta mechanism using my disenchantment with Dona Victorina. The blogger who became notorious for shaming his former lover is now in dire need of another person to shane err shame. After all, the psychotic formula worked for sometime. Shame people, work on pity, gather sympahty, ask for money. Like some kid who’s lollipop was stolen.

No, I did not steal $70,000 from this guy.
No, I’m not retarded either.
No, I have never in my life sent an email to this bitch him.
No, I have never left those messages or comments he wrote purportedly mine.
No, Brian Gorrell will never in his deepest imagination get the privilege to see my penis fallopian tubes.
No, I don’t have drug addict friends nor am I interested to have one in Brian or his friends.
NO! I don’t have HIV!!! which means, I am responsible!
No, I never picked up a fight with DV. I was disappointed to find out about their association with tilapia brained bloggers who did pretty much the same thing that you’re doing Gorrell is doing to me right now.
Yes, I don’t care about people whose brains and decision making process being penis-based. So long as it doesn’t affect me. But when it does, I………………. I sing. [Insert Freddie Aguilar’s song here. The one that complains about Charice and Arnel.]

I’m not suggesting that his level of mentality is lower than… well, forget it. Erase. What I’m saying is that, I’m not expecting any MBA degree from anyone to have a well-meaning discussion with me. You could be a landscaper, a hooker, a prostitute, gay with HIV, promiscous or not, who cares, I will still talk to you, for a fee. I am equal opportunity.

But I’m pretty sure our hateful blogger is intelligent enough on his own right, after all, landscaping is a thinking process, right? God made us all equal, I just happen to be better! Huh! In fact, I am now level 25 on Farmville! Bleh! Tse!

I was thinking that maybe his education played a role in his attitude, but I have got no clue about his credentials either, other than what he mentioned in his blog about his past work. Did I read that he snorted talcum powder? I don’t know, I don’t remember now. Maybe I was wrong. Just judge him if you will, based on his entry, none of those he wrote came from me. They were products of his own overly medicated imagination. And I don’t count that as an excuse for pity nor sympathy.

So, according to this infamously notorious blogger, “Reyna can’t get readers of his own so he starts fights to get them. Classic lazy blogger.” (Source: Special Needs “Blogger” Reyna Gump)

Allow me to disprove Brian Gorrell, besides I am better. Didn’t I just tell you that? [Insert Kris Aquino's laughter here]

You’re looking at the Alexa numbers of our blogs – side by side – like chariots of fire bloggers in hell, but way far apart. The higher the number, the closer you are in hell, with satan. Do the math, obviously, Barrio Siete enjoys a pretty good readership compared to Brian Gorrell’s pathetic blog. Makes you wonder who’s looking for readership.

This next graph that you are looking at, is the pageview per user, meaning how long does one user stays in your blog to oogle and drool over your photo-shopped bodies? This graph tells you that Brian Gorrell’s readers are not liking what they’re reading or seeing in that blog, they don’t stay that long. They puke! In other words, no matter how good you photo-shop your body, it’s the content that matters. Which means, it’s bad enough that they’re looking at some badly photo-shopped pictures, then they have to deal with retardedly written entries. So, don’t expect readers to like you. In fact, expect a lot of anonymous commenters in his blog. Sya din lang yun. And readers are intelligent. The word is discernment. If they don’t find any value in what was written, they won’t stick, hasta la vista!

This next graph is Brian Gorrell’s kangaroo’s rate. What does that mean? It means, from the moment they find your blog, how fast do they leave. In other words, the higher the rate, the more despicable you are. Ok, I’m sorry, I’m just at a loss for words, what I mean – they leave as fast as they arrive. I’m positively sure that there is probably something in that blog that is abhorringly disgusting and stinking, readers leave as fast as they could!

In fact, if you look at this next graph, readers of Barrio Siete stays at an average of well over 20 minutes, whereas at Brian Gorrell’s blog? Zero. Well, ok, let me be fair, I think I could see that it’s also inching at 0.99 naman.

Graphs are powerful and easy to understand. It makes it easier for people to understand what’s going on with the blog in terms of its performance. Based on these graphs, anyone can make an informed decision as to who is desperately seeking hits.

It’s definitely not me. It’s clear that it’s Brian Gorrell.

In fact… like the world’s reaction to the boring Vancouver Olympic opening, Gorrell’s readership has been on a downward spiral.

In December 2009, he only had 538 unique hits! In January 2010, he only had 149 hits. That’s pathetic compared to “Hello World!” That’s why Gorrell needs another “Delfin Montano” to shame.

Now, what about DV? As they say, burds of the same feathers, smoke together. Let me re-post the response I made to a certain “E” commenter as far as DV being a “KNOWN” blog is concerned, or according to “E” celebrity.

You’re looking at the daily pageview per user of Dona Victorina, and if you look at the graph, DV’s pageview is also pathetic just like Brian’s blog.

This next graph shows you the bounce rate. The higher the bounce rate a blog has, the lousy that site is. What it means is that, once users find that site, they immediately leave. They don’t stay. As you can see, compared to B7, DV has a very high bounce rate. Makes you wonder, what is it that readers find at DV that they don’t like?

This next graph tells you how long users stay on the site. If you look, DV is on a downward trend and it seemed static at most. Our commenter “E” had indicated that these DV bloggers are “KNOWN” which obviously doesn’t impresses us much anyway, for B7 don’t care a bit for celebrity status (perceived, imaginary or real even medically injected) since it has no bearing on a blogs traffic and popularity.

Retarded is just another horrorific title in my very long list of titles I earned through blogging. From delusional, eternal internet drama queen, faggot, fag, hungry CPA, barriotic, jologs, c**ksucker and more. But only very few sane and reasonable people come back to apologize and make amends.

I don’t expect this from this blogger for when one says sorry and peace to all, you don’t come back and start throwing and exploding Afghan watosi abrakadabra zizbomba.

And I feel sorry I called the blogger “dumb fuck ass”. My bad. That was clearly wrong.

It should have been… “bloody dumb fuck ass”!

Note: We decided to copy the entire entry and posted it here in the Barrio for future reference.

Curious how I came up with the phrase “Barrio Siete“?

Remember the famous line, “The Philippines is comprised of 7,107 islands…”? Well, during my childhood years in Bicol, the only bridge going into town gets flooded during storms, cutting us off from civilization, making us an “island”. It was in this blog where I coined “Barrio Siete”, where “during low tide we hunt for food, during high tide we evacuate“. In my mind, we were the 7,107th island.

Well, this coming Monday, March 01, 2010, get a copy of the Manila Bulletin for an exciting item about Barrio Siete!

Mi familia went to Japanese resto 4 dinner 2nite.

Alam nyo naman pag puro Pinoy sama mo di ba, we speek la lingua prangka so no 1 understand.

Me katabi kami “exotic” na ubod nang panget! pero boypren nya saksakang gwapo naglaway ako!

Say ko, ”pucha ampanget nang babae but inferness..” di pa ako tapos narinig ako’t big…lang… “sab-ray ka ni-na mo!” minura akong bikol kala ko saksakin ako ng tinidor!

bikolana pala!!!

I did not know, valentines pala today. I’m not here much. Visit me in the BARRIO. Maraming happenings dun!

Recorded on February 1st, 2010, in the same studio as the original 25 years earlier (Henson Recording Studios, formerly A&M Recording Studios) “We Are The World 25 For Haiti”, in which Jones and Richie serve as executive producers and producers, was created in collaboration with executive producers Wyclef Jean, Randy Phillips and Peter Tortorici; producers Humberto Gattica and RedOne; and co-producers Rickey Minor, Mervyn Warren and Patti Austin to benefit the Haitian earthquake relief efforts and the rebuilding of Haiti.

Academy Award-winning writer-director Paul Haggis (Crash, Million Dollar Baby), whose own personal efforts as well as those of Artists for Peace and Justice have already saved countless lives in Haiti, filmed the private recording session to create the accompanying video and behind-the-scenes production, and serves as Film Director and as an Executive Producer with Jones, Richie, Jean, Phillips and Tortorici.

The 25th Anniversary recording features over 80 artists and performers. The recording of We Are The World 25 For Haiti embodied the same enthusiasm, sense of purpose and generosity as the original recording 25 years ago. Every one of the artists who participated, regardless of genre or generation, walked into the room with their hearts and souls completely open to coming together to help the people of Haiti.

The original We are the world is this one: