From the category archives:

Comedy & Fun Stories

The advice

by reynz on January 21, 2010

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“Ayoko na.” msg nang boylet.
“O bakit!? Ano bang nangyari!?” Mga 2 weeks na daw syang iyak nang iyak.
“Heartbroken ako”, sabi nya.
So, sabi ko, kung sino man ang tarantadong nag-break nang heart mo does not deserve you. Maghanap ka nang bago.
“Sukat kasi me bago kang boylet!” sabi saken.
Ay puta! Ako pala yun! [...]

{ 3 comments }

The break-up

by reynz on January 20, 2010

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Kausap ko barkada ko sa phone. BFF from Manila.
“Kelan pa kayo nag-break?”
“Tagal na…6 months.”
“Bakit?”
“Amoy sigarilyo kasi nung gabing hinalikan ko.”
“So?”
“Eh, hindi naman sya naninigarilyo. Hindi naman ako naninigarilyo. Yong roommate, nya isang kaha sang araw na Marlboro ang nauubos.”

{ 1 comment }

The hero

by reynz on January 10, 2010

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In times like this we have to ask ourselves several important questions
How can you, I, our friends and children really trust
That what we see on TV, hear on the radio and read on the blogs are true?
Watch…

Pssst!
Kagagawan to ni Morisya. Ang walanghiyang yon! Naisahan ako! Hahaha!

{ 9 comments }

Hiwalay

by reynz on November 19, 2009

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Walang nangyari sa bar. Kwentuhan na lang kami nang friendship. Nagtanong:
Joey: Pwede bang rentahan ang place mo sa Manila?
Ako: Oo bakit?
Joey: Sister ko rerenta. Naghiwalay na sila nung husband nya.
Ako: Sorry to hear that. Pwede sya dun. Let me know.
Joey: Sige, kayong dalwa na lang mag-usap.
So, ayun. Naghintay ako nang tawag. Weekend passed. Wala na [...]

{ 6 comments }

Question & answer at the bar

by reynz on November 18, 2009

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Nasa bar kami ni Joey. Chumi-chika nang whoever na mapad-pad sa kural namen. Mixed crowd. Di namen alam kung sino ang baliw err, I mean, kung sino ang deretso at kung sino ang lilihis. So, I told him, simple lang yan ‘pare. Interview questions lang nayan yan eh! Sabi ko.
Me naupo sa tabi ni Joey. [...]

{ 6 comments }

Ang friendship kong si Benjie

November 15, 2009
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Litraks naharbat here: Youtube
College ako nun sa Aquinas, nag week-end kami sa barrio sama nang mga friendship ko sa school. Si Mulo na tiga Bagamanoc, Catanduanes; si Henry na tiga Basud, Camarines Norte; si Goryo na tiga Gumaca, Quezon. Oo, maraming foreign students nun sa Aquinas. Mula Quezon hanggang Catanduanes. Catanduanes, island sya that belongs [...]

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Discrimination

November 14, 2009
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Photo Credits: Vivir Latino
Never mess with a Pinoy
A Filipino goes to Woolworth in Australia. He finds cat food at special prices.
He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.
The Manager gets suspicious.
He thinks that this guy might not have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. [...]

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Ang damit. Sa closet.

November 12, 2009
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Photo Credits: Here
Hiyang hiya ako atennnggg!
Huh? Bakit?! Anong nangyari?

Sya si JunChie. Mabait yan dati. Parati akong sinisilbihan nang pagkain. Lately, muntik na akong lasunin. Gumanda pa kasi ako nang todo.
Ang madir kasi ni JunChie, nag-visit from Manila. Kaya tumino ang JunChie. Nag-aaral kung pano maging tao during the time na andito ang mommy dearest. [...]

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Eklat in the Barrio

November 12, 2009
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Eklat started off with a big bang in the barrio, racking up over a hundred comments with her 1st letter to B7 writers. She was introduced to the barrio by her agent, Mel Beckham.
First of all let me introduce myself, my name is Elaine Katherine Lourdes Anna Theresa , but my friends call me [...]

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fruitcake

November 11, 2009
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“Oh! You should go to Brazil! Its such a beautiful place. The weather is nice! The people are nice and beautiful too! Its better than America. I hate winter! When we have 6 inches of snow on the ground? I’d like to divorce my wife and fly to Brazil!”
~lagok beer~
Nag-iinuman kami nung mga kakilala, plus [...]

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as your girl or any thing better

November 9, 2009
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Me natanggap akong sulat.
An sabi: “Hello My Dear, Lets Build A Favorable Good Relationship For Each Other“
Hello My Dear one!

It was very great to me when i found your profile at in my searching for a responsible and reliable person to have a good relationship with and I fond a great spark in my [...]

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Heater

November 7, 2009
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Ang ginaw samen. I just checked the temperature.
Captured from Yahoo.
Mali pa ata.
36 degrees F = taz walang numerong kadikit sa degrees C.
So meaning zero sya.
Anak nang freezer oo!
Nakabitin pa naman fallopian tubes ko!
Na-alala ko last year.
Uwi ako galing work…
Siempre me heater ako. Kelangan mo talaga sya.
Kung ayaw mong matigok na nakabukaka mga mata.
Automatic sya. Set [...]

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Plastic flowers

November 6, 2009
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Image by nofrills via Flickr
Yosi ako sa labas nang bahay. Me narinig akong multo.
Sya: What’s going on?
Neighbor ko pala.
Ako: Oh! Not much! How’s it going?
Sya: He’s crazy!
Eto na naman kami! Sa isip ko. Tong neighbor kasi namen na injure sa work kaya komokolekta lang ang mokong. Dito lang sya. Bawal na daw mag-work. At sa [...]

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Wedding chapel on wheels

November 5, 2009
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$200 lang sya plus $2 per mileage roundtrip. Nawindang ako when I saw it. For busy people na walang panahon. Uubra kaya to sa Manila? Bakit hindi di ba? You can now open another one of this. Kung di mo kaya mag-spend nang wedding ala-Korina, you can have one of this. Wedding chapel on wheels [...]

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How’s the food?

November 5, 2009
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So anyway, balik tayo dun sa “A day after the Halloween…” story.
Which was funny dahil hindi siguro to nabasa nung waitress: 50 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
“8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.”
So, ayun, we were making chika to each other. [...]

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The navigator

November 5, 2009
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That’s what I have. I used to have the Magellan nung unang labas. I bought it for about $1,300. Pohtah! Mahal! But this new one? Cheapangga na sya. Less than $300 na lang. And without the navigator, I would not be able to drive in and around New York or DC. Im fak, salamat sa [...]

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Halloween Cartoon: Reyna Elena

October 28, 2009
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U like? Jesse a.k.a. Mr. Nonsense was the creator of this one. Hehehe! Check it out! Put Your Own Caption: Reyna Elena

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The parameters of my belt

October 26, 2009
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Enjoy ang aking FB friend sa kulitan hehehe. And yet, I have another note. Live longer, eat chocolate!
Huh?!
Totoo ba yan?
Sagot nang lola?

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4 steps to let go of grudge

October 25, 2009
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Una, pano ako magkaka-grudge eh parehas silang gwapo?! Haha!
Anyway, my FB friend, Christina posted an article. 4 Steps to let go of grudge. An sabi…
Learning how to let go of a grudge will be demanding, but it can help restore a relationship if that’s your goal. However, reconciliation is not a requirement. Some people don’t [...]

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How to lose weight

October 24, 2009
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Kitam? Garantisado. You like? Mura lang ang teknik ko. Hahaha!

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The day you have one perfect excuse

October 21, 2009
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It’s Halloween once again! Just a few more days and it’s gonna be twilight zone…
It’s that time of the year where you can achieve your dreams…

And goals in life in one split minute…

And enjoy it for the rest of the night!

It’s a perfect time to be who you wanted to be…

With that costume, give [...]

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Magkamukha sila

October 18, 2009
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Image by Echo9er via Flickr
‘Sang araw, sa Phi bar, dyan lang sa Meralco, ‘lasing na sa kakainom si Kardo kasama si Pidro, kebigan nya. Nonood nang mga tao sa paligid,’kikinig music. Tinapik sya ni Pidro sa likod and said..
“‘Pre, nakikita mo yong lasing na kaharap naten? Kamuka mo sya.”
“Oo nga ano? Teka lang ‘pre [...]

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Family problems

October 17, 2009
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Once two men sat in a bar drinking. The first one said to the other:
“Laki nang family problems ko, pare!”
The second one said:
“Gusto mong marinig ang problema ko? Eto.”
Nakapangasawa ako nang isang widower na me anak na babae. Yong Tatay ko pinakasalan ang anak ko, so ang Tatay ko became my son-in-law. At ako [...]

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Embarassing moments

October 16, 2009
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Mahiyain si Luis. Kaya mega-teach ko sya nang social climbing skills sa mga bar. How to pick up gurls, how to talk to them and how to be human. Pag di naka-inom, introvert kasi ang loko. Na-convince ko to go to a bar. Lakas nang loob, dalwang shot nang tequila, ok na sya. Me nakitang [...]

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tangina nya

October 13, 2009
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kasalanan to ni richie, kaya dedicated to sa kanya.
nag-post kasi nang music, sa facebook nya
nagkakilala kami sa party.
~boom~
ayun date agad kami.
bilis di ba?
ganun ako kaganda.
tiga Texas daw sya. bagong lipat
nagtuturo sa Rider U sa Trenton. Physics.
mga subjects na kinamumuhian ko.
sya hindi
sa princeton ang trabaho ko
sya sa trenton
linggo dun na ako sa apartment nya
kasama ko hanggang [...]

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my doctor’s appointment

September 25, 2009
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Image by Ishan Manjrekar via Flickr
gora ako sa doctor kahapon.
nag-taasan daw ang barometer nang aking mga kalechehan.
kelangan daw i-control.
kaw ba naman, mapunta sa new orleans.
siba at lamon ang ginawa ko.
so, after the typical rituals dun sa office
eto cedula ko
eto LTO license ko
eto birth certificate ko
diploma? kelangan mo? naka-laminate sya!
“birthdate?”
ba’t kelangang itanong pa yon
dami pa namang [...]

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nawawala sya

September 22, 2009
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Image by kevinthoule via Flickr
eto nga…
ka-chat ko boylet…
“musta ka na?”
“mabote”
“ilan na asawa mo?”
“hiwalay na kami”
“huh?! anong nangyari?”
“hahanapin daw muna nya sarili nya”
~kablag~

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pag sinabi kong no parking…

September 9, 2009

no parking!!! kundi?! nga-ngat-ngatin ko ang kotse mong pahalang!

… di ko alam kung kaninong bahay yan sa San Francisco hehehe…

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Nag-teks si Mel from Bukidnon

August 27, 2009

Kasalukuyan akong nagjujudge ng beauty contest dito sa bukid. Talent competition. Imagine nyo na lang.
1. Ang costume Egyptian, ang sayaw Jai Ho pero may twist, nag Singkil sa huling part.
2. Ang costume Filipiniana, music is freddie aguilar’s Bayan ko. Takbo ng takbo ang girl bitbit ang Phil. flag. Interpretative dance daw.
3. May bitbit na illustration [...]

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Catch 22

August 23, 2009

Napag-diskitahan kong bumili nang printer today.
Nagtanong ang Chuva sa phone.
“Anong gagawin mo sa printer?”
“Aba! Malay mo! Baka meron akong mai-print!”
Kaya go ako sa Best Buy.
Me nakita akong cheappangang printer.
As usual, nag-iisa syang Cinderella sa kanto.
Nag-iisang karton. Walang umu-usyuso.
Presyo? Sisenta y kwatru nuventa y nwebe. ($64.99)

Cheap di ba?
Dinekwat ko sya.
Eto.

While driving back to my apartment… pumasok [...]

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Disaster cooking by reyna elena

March 17, 2009

One saberdey, can you imagine I cooked?! I must be nuts! Eh kasi, I never cook. Wait, I don’t know how to cook! Leche! Pero, eto nga, awang-awa na ako sa pridyidir ko. Feel ko, buti kaya ipa-landscape na to. I guess, tutubo sa loob ang kamatis. Lagyan ko nang maliit na fish pond. Hmpt!

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Why did the chicken crossed the street?

August 30, 2008

This was sent to my by a friend quite sometime ago. I was deleting some old files when I saw this one again. Quite timely, huh? Well, considering the current election campaign going on in the United States, I thought I would resurrect this one. I was really laughing my lungs out. I have no [...]

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Our trip to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware – Part 1

July 6, 2008

Musta kayo mga kunichiwa! Today, I’m taking you with me as I drive to Rehoboth Beach in the State of Delaware. The first state nang United States. Kahit makulimlim ang forecast nang PAGASA, kumikidlat at bumabagyo, kere… me mga lalaki dun! heheh!

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Why would you lie where you went to college?

June 27, 2008

As some of you know by now, I finished my undergrad sa Barrio City in Bikol, where I made very good friends with sa mga kasamahan ko sa school achaka almost everyone sa school at group namen eh kebigan ko talaga. Pokpok na talaga ako kahit na nong panahon pa. And i’ve maintained that relationship [...]

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Man Shopping

June 24, 2008

I’m excited. next week, I’m a free man! Err woman! At dahil wala akong inatupag kundi puro trabaho, pati anghit ko smells like coupon bond, alam nyo yon? Pati hininga ko amoy pentel pen na. Kaya, since I have so many credit cards, I am gonna make the most out of my time at ang [...]

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My sipilyo

June 23, 2008

First time kong mag-grocery/drug/convenience store in so many years. Umuwi kasi si Inday. Kasama si Dodong. Honestly, I don’t even know what it looked like. Pramis. I didn’t even know na they have this check out counter, you know! Eh ang alam ko lang sa sari-sari store ni Aling Karing ano? So, I was standing [...]

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I have 2 eggs

June 15, 2008

My brother and his family were vacationing from San Diego, California when I was home last month (May 2008). They decided to check out of Mandarin in Makati because of the outrageous price. As in hallller brother!!! Kelangan pa bang imemorize yan?! Since they couldn’t take the hotel price in Makati and the heat in [...]

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One gay bar night in Philadelphia

June 8, 2008

You know what, napansin ko, I’m always with straight people mga kabisyo. The last kalaswaan place I’ve been to was Bartolina in Cubao. Can you imagine?! Tinatakpan ko na lang ang mga mata ko sa mga kalaswaang ginagawa nang mga tao dun no? Kaya, its been ages na napunta ako nang gay bar. I figured, [...]

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36-24-36 (12)

June 3, 2008

Do you see what I see??? That photo was taken off Samal Island in Davao City when we were scuba diving. EEE!!! ARRRGH! WAAAAAAA! THIS IS SOOOO HIDEOUS! JUST HIDEOUSNESS EVER! ARRGGGHHH!!! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMOREEE!!!

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Are men more vain than women?

May 29, 2008

Don’t ask me. Wala ako sa column nang men. But I admit. I got warts. Kainis di ba?! You have no idea!!! I got warts that would put to shame the entire hundred islands in Pangasinan! They polka dot my face, its enough to fill up the entire Laguna de Bay. When we were in [...]

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Sosyal ang mga magulang ko

April 20, 2008

as par as i rimembir, inglis speeking kami noon…op kors, sosyal ang mga magulang ko..dalawa kaming mag kapatid at pareho kaming nakatapos sa kolihiyo, enjineer si brother at bellas artes naman ako… dapat lang!! sosyal ang mga magulang ko eh! makulay ,masaya ang naging takbo ng buhay ko, although may mga drama sa likod ng [...]

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Mabait si Batman

April 13, 2008

Mahal ang bayad ko sa cable systems sa bahay. Umaabot sya nang $100 a month including cable TV and internet connections. Hindi kasali porno. Me CNN kami. Me Bloomberg pa. Feeling Wall Street. Wala namang nanonood. Miss USA at kung ano anong figure skating lang naman ang pinapanood nang James sa TV na yan. Balak [...]

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Wanted: Single White Female

April 12, 2008

Kinulang ang sustento ko sa mga boylets ko. Napilitan akong tumanggap nang boarder. Nag post ako nang ad: Wanted: SWF (Single White Female). Nag-apply ang guapong lalaking graduate nang De la salle. Single white female daw sya. Guapo, matalino, mahilig sa avocado. Computer programming ang trabaho. Dahil walang ibang nag-apply at sayang ang pera, tinanggap [...]

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Announcing: Reyna’s Social Climber Awards!

March 29, 2008

Week ending April 6, 2008 (sorry, di ko na ma-edit yong header!) is on the side bar! VOTE NOW! Of course voting ends bago mag-pasko! Hehehe! Charing lang! Siguro pag indi ako lasing nang Sabado nang gabi of April 5. Ganetch! Before anything else – head over to Banco De Reyna for my latest [...]

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My One Barrio Siete Lifestyle

March 29, 2008

Mahilig talaga ako magsulat. That’s why I blog. Before? Dose-dosenang Letters to the Editor ang pinapadala ko. Ang mga hayup na yan, ni isa, walang pinublisa. Sa kakabasa ko nang blog ni Brian, I am now determined as ever to be as famous notorious ever gaya nila. I want to be a Lifestyle Writer. I [...]

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