This was sent to my by a friend quite sometime ago. I was deleting some old files when I saw this one again. Quite timely, huh? Well, considering the current election campaign going on in the United States, I thought I would resurrect this one. I was really laughing my lungs out. I have no idea who wrote this one. But I’m sure, he’s one great talented comedian. Here it is:
QUESTION:
Why did the chicken crossed the street?
ANSWER:
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me…….
DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…
ANDERSON COOPER CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken 2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform i s much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ……….reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
My contribution:
GEORGE BUSH SR.: Read my lips! No new chicken crossing!
BILL CLINTON: I did not have sex with THAT chicken!
SENATOR McGREEVEY: The truth of the matter is, I am a gay american chicken!
Got anything to add?
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m chickening out!, guess I’ll be having chicken adobo instead. ho ho ho!
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ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? hahahaha
My addition:
INDAY: that feathered thing, which looks like from the fowl species, could have crusaded on the portage for this logical, rational, analytical and appalling reason: to expurgate the grubbiness infesting the diametrical pattern of the open and narrow strip of land made suitable for transportation!!!
*nosebleed*
chuvaness’s last blog post..For The First Time
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hehehe medyo nag-laway ako dun ah! never had adobo in a long time ago hehehe
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duda ko ikaw si Inday eh! hahaha! kaloka yong answers ni Inday! kelangan ko pa nang another bachelors degree para ma understood {for miss grammar} hehehe
reynz’s last blog post..Potential match
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leave the chickens alone. hahaha
Kotsengkuba’s last blog post..Tuding’s Original Porkchop of the Rich and Famous
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oo nga naman! eh makikipag-tupada yan eh! hahaha
reynz’s last blog post..Hate me but Imelda Marcos deserves the honor!
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