If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

I’m excited. next week, I’m a free man! Err woman! At dahil wala akong inatupag kundi puro trabaho, pati anghit ko smells like coupon bond, alam nyo yon? Pati hininga ko amoy pentel pen na. Kaya, since I have so many credit cards, I am gonna make the most out of my time at ang unang unang gagawin ko mga kabisyo pag-uwi ko? Man shopping. Tumatanggap naman sila nang Gold Mastercard at Visa di ba?

Yeap! As the eternal past, present and future President of the Lonely Hearts Club Credit Card Consolidation Mortgage Loan Viagra Cialis, kelangan ko nang ligaya and I thought I’d do Man Shopping. Yeap, you heard me right. Yan ang aking Holy Grail. Alam nyo naman diba? It’s a daunting task to shop for a man. Maraming versions ang available kaya depende what kind of man best serves your purpose, eh di yun ang bingwitin! Eh baka magkamali ako, syokoy ding kagaya ko ang mabingwit ko noh. So, ingat ako sa pag-ma Man Shopping. Which is why I have a list na inap-date ko kanina. I hope matulungan nyo ako sa current project ko. Besides, this is a learning process gurls. Baka me makuha kayong lessons dito. Let’s all learn together one another forever. Ready?

Eto listahan ko:


1.) Dress Code

When you indulge in Man Shopping, ang unang makikita mo is yong product packaging. Siempre yong damit and everything signifies yong personality traits nya. Minsan pag sobra ang pintura at kung ano anong mga krayola sa mukha, sigurado, drag queen yan pagka-alas sais nang gabi at hindi Man. I probably would choose a Balikbayan Box. Simple lang sya. Pero puno nang goodies. Kaya lang me address na sya. Iba na ang me ari.

2.) White Shirt, naka-neck tie at plantsadong tutong na pantalon

Me andalucia ang mga lalaking to. Meron silang magandang medical benefits and who knows maybe stock options? Eto ang masarap, me access sya sa mga computer softwares sa opisina. Pwede kang mag-open nang store sa Francis Square. Kaya lang eto kinakatakutan mo, he love and is married to his desk at work. Hirap nito, communications ninyo puro barok English sa Blackberry. Nag-aaway kayo via text messages. Hirap mag-mura sa text noh?

3.) Levis 501

Cowboy. Rough. Yon bang tipong sasampalin ka taz duguan ang labi mo’t bigla kang hahalikan? He’s always looking for beef. Kaya lang, minsan nalulungkot ang mga to. Taz mawawalang bigla sa gabi. Babalik sa rancho. Mag-hahanap nang ibang beef.

4.) Plaid pants. Baha style. Thick black glasses.

Stay away! Stay away! Ang lalaking geek na to has no experience. Di nila madis-tinguish ang Mayon Volcano sa Sibuto Islands. Ang alam lang nila i-drowing. He can fix computer but he can’t fix what you want and what you need.

5.) Gucci galing sa Korea. Prada galing sa Divisoria

Honestly, basurero lang ata ang mga to. I don’t know why they dress like this. Para bang parating galing sa 40 days. Wag mo nang i-date. Baka mamaya matigok lang to, singilin ka pa nang insurance company. O kaya ikaw naman ang tigukin.

6.) Army fatigue

Ang lalaking to is either guerilla or military dude. Which means, disiplinado, fit, brave at me bandila ni Bonifacio. Pag sinuwerte ka, officer and gentleman. Bubuksan pa ang pinto nang dyip para makasakay ka. Pag hindi, ransom ang hihingin sayo. Ang problema, magaling mag-blend in sa environment, kaya it’s tough to find him. Parating wala in action. O baka iba ang ka-action?

7.) Bling bling man

Wala akong sinabing galing sila sa Middle East ha? Wala! Pero if you see one like this? Tipo bang gangsta rapper na nakatira sa ghetto dyan sa Tondo. Am not saying na masama sila. The only problem I see with them is that, problema to sa airport security! Tyak, masisira ang censor!

8.) Torn jeans, unkept hair

Well, unless you like tree-huggers and everything, ready ka lang sa air freshener kasi these guys are the ones who does not conform sa mga status quo. Sila yong tuturuan ka to have a shower once a month to protect the Philippines from drought.

9.) Greenpeace T-Shirt

Nothing is wrong with peace-loving environmentalist naman di ba? All they want is to make the world a better place. Sana sila na ang manalo sa Miss Earth. They help the less fortunate. Kaso, pag dineyt mo sila, they’ll drag you sa barrio to help people build irrigation, magtayo nang babuyan, manukan ang everything. Taz dun kayo titira together with the Tasadays. Before you knew it, me sungay nanga nakapasak sa ilong mo.

10.) Impeccable Designer Shirts and Pants

You can see how successful he is. Elegantly dressed. Sips wine at some probably nicest bars along Bonifacio Heights. Drops some names. Kesyo he’s a good friend of this and that. Will introduce you to some of his famous friends. Kaso, who knows kung totoo ang ilong nito. O kaya sagad ang cards sa utang. Sundan mo pag-uwi. Just to make sure na nakatira sa subdivision at hindi sa gilid nang Floodway.

Yan ang listahan ko mga kabisyo. Sana, makapulot kayo nang aral. I’m going home to Manila in the next few weeks. Di ko pa alam kung kelan. But I’ll do Man Shopping dyan. I don’t know kung saan ako mag-iistart.

For WORLD PEACE, any tips?

Popularity: 1% [?]

Share This

• Ready ka na ba talaga?
• As credit card charge-offs, delinquencies mount
• Isang mabahong karanasan
• Exit Interview
• Buying a business