Was there a scam? - Part 2
THE CONCLUSION
Background
This is a story of Tim. A man who fell madly in love with a Filipina named, Mayen. Tim claimed that his search for genuine love and relationship in the Philippines was ruined by a real estate business who was engaged in an organized crime of extortion together with the hospital and real estate agents as fronts of a big real estate and hospital scam.
Not a happy man
Tim admitted he’s not a happy man. His life was in a rut. His relationship with his wife drifted away. He was a musician, happy at work but tired and always financially drained. He wanted to get out of his marriage but he is tied up to the house. The mortgage of his house was his big problem and his life was not getting anywhere. He doesn’t have money. Quite possibly, financially bankrupt. He wanted out and start something new.

1st suspicion of being scammed
Tim described himself as a very cautious person. He had a Friendster account. He met a young Filipina there who started telling him that her family could no longer afford her tuition fees as a trainee nurse. He immediately cut-off any communication with her. This was the 1st incident that he suspected that a scam was about to happen to him.
Attracted to Asians (Eastern look)
He said, he has always been attracted to an Eastern look since they have great respect for elders, they are not particular about physical appearance of their partners and they appreciate more of the attributes of loyalty and honesty and they are God-fearing.
Dating in Asia (DIA)
So he joined an Asian dating site where he met Mayen, the “Curly Hair”. She worked as a “Property Consultant” for Tierra Maria Estate’s sales office in Paranaque City. He made known to Mayen that he was extremely cautious. Indeed, there are a lot of fake people on the Internet, Mayen warned him, but that she was genuine.
Love at first type
Mayen was only 23 years old, then. One simple photograph. He got infatuated or love at first type? (My reference to keyboard). Big time.
Mother knows best
He visited his mother and asked for and was given blessing about his intent to meet Mayen, given the fact that he was still a married man. The next morning, his sister in Portugal dreamt that some guardian angel told her that Tim was in danger. He was decided. He was meeting the love of his life.
Absolute secrecy
Tim considered his marriage as over. He was still a married guy that’s why the travel plans were in absolute secrecy. So secret that he asked his friend to purchase the tickets online that could not be traced to his bank account. As cover, he planned the trip to coincide with his 10-day business trip to Jersey.
1st show of doubt
Given the cautiousness of Tim, he doubted if Mayen was for real. To quell his fears and doubts, Mayen sent her phone number. He phoned her. They talked. Mayen was real. He loved it.
Manila, here I come
He then flew to Manila with the help of his friend. A trip where he would come face to face with scammers. A trip that is full of deception, according to him. In his preface, he said:
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This is professional racketeering by people suffering from the impoverished conditions that unfortunately befall the vast majority living in the Philippines, constantly alert for any way to make more money for themselves. Morals don’t seem to concern them. Aware of the potential in the raw power of emotions - like an untapped natural resource - they resort to a type of suburban savagery, using modern technology to wreak their havoc - destroying lives in the process - as they consciously manipulate situations to be able to take advantage of people’s sincere and deeply felt emotions - yes - people’s love - for their own material gain.
Filipino hospitality & culture, misunderstood
Filipinos are well known for their hospitality. We may not be the only people in the world who are very friendly and welcoming, but our attitude towards other people, especially foreigners are always exceptional. However, foreigners find some of our culture as odd. Even my officemates would laugh at my anecdotes. But to the unsuspecting foreigner, it could be a different story.
The 2 months that Tim and Mayen met online, were not enough for Tim to prepare and understand the Philippines and the Filipinos culture. I seem to believe that he made a little bit of preparation, but it was not enough. He was simply too ignorant about the culture. Here are the instances where I found that Tim seemed to have a lot trouble understanding the Filipino culture and hospitality and most of them have been taken in a really, really bad context. Take the case of the following:
Chaperone
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Chaperone is a big part of our culture. It’s as simple as making sure that someone is safe especially meeting strangers. When Mayen met Tim at the airport, with her friends, there was no indication on the Journey that Tim made a big deal of this one. Which is good.
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In Day 2, when Mayen brought him to his rented room and to Mayen’s home base, the people he met there treated him very nicely. According to him, he sometimes feels ashamed at the respect, near to reverence that’s being shown to him by these sweet, so beautiful people. Yet, in his mind, there are many snakes as well and it’s all about money, courtesy of the exchange rate and the appalling standard of living here. He said that these are all fake, apparently insinuating the fake respect that’s being accorded him.
Courtship & Pre-marital sex
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In Day 3, when Mayen told him that she wanted to sleep with him, Tim got confused. Why? He was probably expecting that there was supposed to be some courtship to happen. Instead, they started to live like husband and wife. There was no more courtship. In Filipino culture, this is such a blatant no no! Because people will immediately think that you are one “pokpok” (prostitute!). We do not expect a Filipina to tell a stranger that she wanted to have sex with him. Why? Our culture prohibits pre-marital sex.
Making visitors feel at home
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In Day 3 and Day 5, Sir Francis offered to tour them. This is a very common Filipino hospitality, welcoming visitors and making them feel at home. In Day 5, he was very impressed with the kindness of Sir Francis. Towards the end of the Journey, it was interesting that he gave a very bad meaning on this act of kindness on the part of Sir Francis.
Common with our culture, especially if you are in the courtship stage is the kind of parental protectiveness with their kids. Just like this one:
Parental protectiveness
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1. In Day 7, Mayen’s mother quizzed Tim not only about her intentions to her daughter but she also asked him if he had any children. The mother was just trying to make sure that he was a good man.
People in the province and the inner barrios are not used to seeing foreigners. It might not exactly be the same when you get stared at and approached by Chinese people in China (as described by Kotsengkuba in his trip to Shanghai), but yes, people in the barrio will certainly be curious at you, like this one:
People’s friendliness
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In Day 7, people in the barrio kept staring at Tim. To him, he was an oddity, a celebrity, and a source of money because Filipinos are very poor. He did not understand that this curiosity is actually a show of Filipinos friendliness.
In the Philippines, we have a culture to even share the family bed to the visitor and we sleep on the mat, outside of the room. We also make sure that visitors are well fed. On the table, one would always hear “Kain ka pa! Wag kang mahiya!” (Have some more food! Don’t be shy!). Take this instance:
“Eat some more!”
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In Day 7, Tim felt that people in the house don’t have any concern for him. He was describing an incident when they returned to the family house for the evening meal. He said, he was shocked that he was only offered a meager chicken wing and a small spoonful of rice while the others piled in, considering that he been asked to pay for the feast. Soon he realized, that he was just offered a taster, in case he finds it disagreeable.
Courtship & Pre-marital sex
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In Day 7, the mother agreed for them to sleep in one bed. At the later part of Tim’s journal, he said that this was weird considering the Catholic upbringing of these people. Tim was correct. This was very un-Catholic considering that pre-marital sex is not acceptable to our culture.
Another sign that guests are welcome or that Filipinos enjoyed your company and that you are considered as one of them is an invite that you come back or visit them again. We consider it as an honor if you accept the invitation and we only accord these to people who we consider as one of us. It was obvious that the family considered Tim as part of the family already. Like:
We are family
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1. In Day 10, the mother wants Tim to come back while the father was already comfortable with his son-in-law and is already thinking long-term business for his son-in-law. As a matter of fact, both of them were ushered by the mother to the chapel, lit candles and said prayers. I think Tim appreciated this one gesture.
Overseas Filipino remittances, let me tell you, it’s one of the economic drivers in the country but let’s not discuss that here. There’s also barrio remittances and our culture has it that if you work in Manila, that you must send money to the barrio. The more it is true in the smallest social unit called Family. We help one another. Sending money is one that my American officemates do not understand even my ex-boyfriend Hugh who was from Dublin, Ireland. Let me show you one instance where Tim saw this happening. Disregard the fact that Mayen doesn’t have money because people in the barrio always believe that you have money. Agree?
Sending money
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1. In Journey 16, Tim was describing an incident where Mayen received a call from a sister telling her that there’s supposed to be a family festivity in the barrio that she must send money. This, according to him, transformed Mayen to a cold, hard, completely impersonal attitude to him.
Convenience stores, although they are already getting swanky in some parts of the country, you’ll find them all over the place. Any corner in the Philippines there is a sari-sari store. But he has a completely different explanation of this one.
The Sari-sari store
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2. In Day 4, he explained that Sari-sari store was a repository of smalltime crime of shoplifting. This happened when they went to Mayen’s sister in Quezon City where he was privately bewildered and amazed to see an array of all sorts of general household goods hanging around, as if on display - cards full of small shampoo sachets, plastic tubs full of lollipops, cans of this, cans of that.
“I am being scammed” Theory
It was the incident on Journey 16 (sister asking money from Mayen to pay for some family festivity), which Tim thought seriously – way too seriously that this was all part of the plan, part of the reason why he is there and everything else were a sweetener.
His mind started to work. As proof, he offered the following explanations:
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1. Mayen acted like a bad humored terrier to him when he accidentally banged into the top of her shoulder.
2. Mayen wanted new shoes, he said: it is not the amount of money that is the issue here - it touches on trust and moral behavior and shows a very unfamiliar angle to them.
3. The first night’s meal with the family, he was waiting to see if his prematurely empty plate would catch anyone’s attention or an invitation for more. No one. Obliviously, “like a family of crabs in a feeding frenzy”.
4. While on the picnic at the seashore - again - in a perfectly graphic depiction of what was happening - I felt the deep fear pass over me once more.
5. There was this incident when they were in a small fishing boat on the ground. Mayen was showing Tim some various fisherman’s implements stowed on the boat, a catch net, a cleft stick for picking up sea urchins and a giant gaff hook that she posed with him as the big fish and her as the successful fisherman. Everyone laughed and she muttered something in Tagalog to which they all erupted in laughter. He felt so mocked and was extremely unsettling for him.
6. Mayen had originally told him that the hotel room would be P800 per night - I had forgotten this detail - but on checking in, the price I was quoted per night was P1, 800. Lost in translation? No. To Tim, this was part of the plan.
7. Even all the negotiations that Mayen was doing, he now thinks that Mayen was earning commission here:
a. He said, I’m sure that from the moment I stepped off the plane Mayen was probably earning herself percentages of all the deals she struck with these people - who themselves were only too happy to make more than the going rate - all at my expense.
8. There is no question that Tim is in love with Mayen. But there is no question that doubts to Mayen is now engulfing him:
a. How much of her behavior had been simply a charade?
b. How much had it been disguising a far less amorous motive - just giving dear Hansel sufficient sweets to lure him in?
9. More of “I am being scammed theory” and this is what he has to say:
When there is a determination to deceive, the illusion is very easy to achieve in communicated material alone - depending on its perception - which the scammers believe has been preconditioned - emotionally - by love - to accept that everything can only be how it appears.
He offered this as proof:
a. Bear in mind that in the Philippines, as no doubt in other areas of the world subject to poverty, some people will sell their integrity, compromise their honesty - “truth” can be purchased - by threat, by favor or by pesos.
b. I am no longer prepared to accept what information I am given as true. Viewing the history of our relationship with this same suspicion throws absolutely everything into the shadow of doubt - how does one decide where to draw the line between fantasy and reality - once complete trust has gone - it is probably gone for good - the boy who cried wolf was never believed again.
10. To this point, his fears of being scammed, of being fleeced are getting real, yet Tim offers that explanation that: “ Let me please emphasize something crucial here - this is not an issue about money - far from it - it is all about trust, honesty, respect and integrity - essential ingredients, surely, for me to concern myself with - planning, as I was, to spend the rest of my life with this girl.”
“The stage was being set” Theory
While reading through his journals, I wanted to find out what part did he discovered that Sir Francis was one big actor in this scam? Journey 17 is another case of culture shock for Tim. This is where he concluded that they were all part of the scam.
There are so many things happening here which to Tim signs of the scam were:
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1. Tim was always being asked: Why you don’t have children? Even Mayen asked the question. Even the mother asked the question. Filipinos are just used to asking these questions. I wonder if they asked Tim about his salary.
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2. Two people in love, having no protection was not on the table. The fact that they were permitted to share the same bed in the province, with Mayen’s mother approval runs counter to the strict Catholic morality.
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3. When Mayen requested money to pay for Internet café fees then turned into hospital check-up thinking that she might have catched dengue fever because her friends’ brother has been hospitalized. He sent money. 160 pound. To Tim, he believed that Mayen now knows that he is an easy prey.
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4. That Mayen was a liar because Friday 13th of July – Tim learned that Mayen thinks that she’s showing signs of pregnancy. But Tim continues to doubt. To make sure, Mayen went for a 2nd checkup. It was false alarm.
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5. Mayen got a fever. Could it be STD? Tim went bananas. He had himself checked-up because the cause is herpes. Many things playing in his mind. Throwing away his marriage, his house, destroying any vestiges of trust with wife, he’s got STD, a pregnant girlfriend whom I love so deeply. Is this all true, he said? I shall have to go underground - change my identity - I envisioned a horde of machete wielding Filipino men coming after me to avenge their family honor, he said.
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6. That Mayen was a “dirty woman, loose morals, infected with an STD. Mayen cried, locked herself up in the bathroom. To Tim, this was part of the charade.
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7. The more it got stickier when Mayen informed Tim that her boss has decided that all 3 girls should now share a room. Mayen wants to find another place to stay. Questions on Tim’s mind: will he pay? To Tim, the stage was being set for a scam and it’s the work of Sir Francis.
Who’s behind this scam theory
When Mayen was brought to the hospital, the ectopic pregnancy solidified his scam conclusion. To Tim, ectopic pregnancy was just a perfect vehicle for extortion from a loving boyfriend because it’s worth quite a bit of money. He suspected all along that he will be scammed and this is it. They were all in it. The more his scam doubts were coming true because he could not talk to anyone at the hospital. And to prove that this is a scam, he has these to offer:
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1. Mayen’s behavior regarding money during my trip and since
2. Her denial of having an STD is later proved a lie
3. Mayen’s confusion over the dates suggesting to her that she was pregnant
4. The pregnancy itself
5. The rarity of Ectopic Pregnancies
6. The time scale of the Emergency operation - pains at 4.00am - operation at 3.45pm
7. Ruptures of Ampullary Ectopic Pregnancies normally occur at 8 to 12 weeks. This is 6 weeks, 6 days from the earliest possible date of conception 23rd July - very early
8. The fallopian tube was not removed - very unusual after a rupture
9. Mayen is only expected to be in hospital for 2 to 3 days
10. That this is happening just 5 days prior to my scheduled visit.
Tim’s conclusion: This was a scam. Who’s behind it? The real estate business, the team of girls luring westerners into parting their money, small amounts by western standard – but multiply that by the “number” of girls involved and the amount of potential clients they can have at any one time and it adds up to quite a business.
The Golden Goose Theory
What’s interesting about Tim, based on his journals was that, the scam was ever present. There was already a scam from the moment he met someone on Friendster. There was already a scam at the hotel. In other words, it seemed to me that the scam theory was already finished even before it started and everything that happened were just proof about the scam. I am left wondering, what could have happened to Tim in the past?
We may never know if he had a very bad childhood or a traumatic experience in the past. We may never know how bad the marriage was, and how deep did it contribute to his very negative view of everything. True he admitted having an unworkable marriage. Just what could it be that happened in his life such that he must always be and constantly be reassured that red is red and white is white and here are the valid pictures? Tim does not trust anyone. He’s scared like hell about somebody milking him. In his mind it’s called the Golden Goose Theory.
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In Day 4, Mayen bought presents for her family. It was clear in Tim’s mind that although he enjoyed the feeling of generosity but he didn’t enjoy feeling like the golden goose. Nor will he wallow in his new role as a benefactor, courtesy of the exchange rate. He has his own financial problems in the UK. He was insinuating that he would not enjoy being Mayen’s Golden Goose.
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In Day 8, he explained that Mayen was the Golden Goose of her family. This was the day that Mayen cried because he said; she’s fed up with some of her family members trying to fleece the golden goose.
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In Day 11, even though he was the one who bought Mayen a new cell phone since the old one was giving up he admitted that he doesn’t care if Mayen drains him of all his money since they have a genuine love. In his mind, the Golden Goose Theory is real because of so much poverty in the Philippines
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Despite numerous requests for her to be more illuminating about herself - all that followed were harmless, day-to-day remarks - generally positive - to keep the wheel spinning - as it were. But - being ever the cock-eyed optimist - perhaps a good choice of phrase in the circumstances, not simply for its musical theatre location, I managed to blind my vision at the time.
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Feared Mayen was not real. To quell his fears and doubts, Mayen sent her phone number. He phoned her and found out she’s real. He loved it.
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Feared that the hotel was a scam because it was newly built and it has no Internet connection. The British Embassy could not confirm the location; he confronted the girl with his fears, angry and upset because he feared for his life, being kidnapped, extortion and entrapment.
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In Day 7, during a family meal that he paid for, he was given a meager meal that shocked him where soon after, he realized he was offered a taster.
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In Journey 17, he went for an STD check-up nothing confirmed. He thought he got STD from Mayen. Although in Journal 33, he now claims that third return of Herpes symptoms occurred. This time - the tests brought a confirmation.
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In Journey 26 and Journey 29, Tim questioned Mayen about the Php44, 600 that he sent to her for the wedding ring. He accused her of lying on this one. But for some reason, there was an entry on Journey 24, indicating that his telephone was being fixed that day which was the reason why the transfer was not transmitted.
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I try to think of ways to raise some money - I phone the Sun newspaper - a human interest story - but no interest from them and the phone very tersely slammed down on me after a brief explanation. I phone another “Sell-your-story” contact - ask her to read the story so far on this blog. She is interested but cannot help financially at such short notice. Now I am becoming extremely worried about my security when I arrive in Manila - if this is a scam - they are all in on it - including some people at the hospital - they already know that I’m suspicious - and determined to deal with the hospital through the proper channels - who will in fact meet me at the airport, where will I be taken?
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In Day 6, Mayen was simply trying to be frugal. She was doing all he can to negotiate better pricing for taxicabs and in Tacloban, tricycles. There have been so many instances of this already with Mayen trying to negotiate pricing for taxicabs. You see, it’s a known fact in the Philippines that if you’re a stranger, a balikbayan or an OFW who’s not very familiar with the city, chances are you will always be overcharged. Why do I know? This has happened to me and my family many times when we go home to Manila. Now, is this only happening in the Philippines? I have been to Prague; in Budapest they’re even worst.
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In Day 7, they were in Tacloban and he was he was crossing the street to go to Mercury Drug for some Imodium for his stomach, when he noticed as he was weaving through the traffic crossing the road that Mayen, with a towel wrapped around her head, was peeping out of the hotel window at him to see if he was safe - he waved at her.
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In Day 7 still, another demonstration of Mayen’s caring attitude: when they went to the shore they tried to shelter from the rain underneath the roots of a coconut tree. Mayen, concerned that he might get his shorts dirty on the rock I was about to sit on, as it was covered in ash from a recent fire that someone had lit there, placed the fan down for me to sit on. Simple things.
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In Day 8, when they went to the beach to eat sea urchin, it was hot and his feet were gradually getting extremely sunburt, Mayen advised him to go and sit in the shade - suggesting that he don’t sit directly under any of the coconut trees, for obvious reasons.
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In Day 9, they went to the seashore that morning and he saw a big fish (maja-maja) that he wanted to take a picture but forgot his camera. When they went back home, he was reloading his camera with film when there’s some activity going on in the kitchen - Mayen, realizing his wish to have taken a photo of the fish has asked the fisherman to come up to the house - there he is, busily reconstructing the pieces of fish on a plate by the kitchen sink. How amenable is that? That’s what he said.
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In Day 3, Mayen surprised him when she said that she wants to sleep with him. From then on, they have had several unprotected sex, almost every day. Tim was right, what Mayen did was not very typical of a Filipina, which was why he was taken aback. All throughout Tim’s stay they were having sex and they were not even married yet. This was a big no, no to a Filipino Catholic family.
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In Day 7, when they were in Mayen’s barrio, Tim asked her if they were sleeping in one bed. Even the mother did not complain. Tim was also correct here. This was not very Catholic for them and for Mayen.
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In Journey 26 and Journey 29, I don’t know who’s lying here. Did Tim sent Php44, 600 to Mayen and Mayen did not received it? There was no more indication on the journal what happened to this amount. Tim could have checked WU who received the amount. Instead, he gave Mayen a wrong reference number. When Mayen went to pick up the money, she never received anything because there was no match. But for some reason, there was an entry on Journey 24, indicating that his telephone was being fixed that day.
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In Journey 28, Mayen lied about her mother’s stroke.
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In Journey 29, Mayen lied about being in Sogod.
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In Journey 30, Mayen accepted the Sogod lie. The father’s visit was also a lie. The stroke was also a lie.
- 1.) It’s in the invoice.
- 2.) And all because of this.
- 3.) As well as the Legal letter without the address
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1. Tim who at his age wanted out of his dysfunctional marriage and life in the UK and start a new life while the twilight years are still just a few years ahead of him.
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2. Mayen who wants desperately to help her family and herself out of poverty.
Tim needs continued reassurance
Tim is such a fragile person, very insecure, very scared. Continued reassurance that everything is ok. That’s what Tim needs. He has doubts about everything. In Journey 16, Tim was still having some serious doubts about Mayen and I don’t think Mayen understood that Tim continually needs assurance that she was for real, that this was not a scam and that she was not fleecing him, that the world was not out to con him. This was where Tim described himself:
Cock-eyed, which means, cross-eyed, absurd, foolish, completely wrong – and optimist. More of the cock-eyed probably. But optimist? And this is where I beg to dis-agree with Tim. An optimist is a person with a positive outlook on life. And that always finds something positive in any situation. All throughout the journal, the entries were full of doubt, scam and fleecing him. Based on his journals, he showed how seriously negative he was and gave me reason to believe that there must be some serious incident that happened in his life why he is like this.
As a matter of fact, he admitted that he was trying to do something about it. He admits that there’s something wrong with him. Let me show you:
Tim was doing something about his negative thoughts
In Journey 2, he admitted of doing quite a bit of uplifting, inspirational reading recently - The Secret, Conversations With God, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari - all telling him the same thing, the same message. The world is abundant, have faith, create your own future by attracting it towards you - keep the thoughts clearly on target, be thankful - it so much makes sense - I am changing, day-by-day. This he does because of a lot of negativities in his head.
Tim’s fears proven wrong. By him.
He always fear about something and interestingly, how many times his fears proved him wrong? Let me show you.
Tim suffers from never ending worries, doubts and fears
In Journey 18, I was particularly struck by this incident when he was trying to sell his story and make profit out of it.
Tim, the over-cautious person, wanted the hospital to deal with him directly. He doesn’t trust anyone. Not Mayen, not Marivien nor Sir Francis. Only the hospital. There was just one big problem. Fiancée relationship does not count in releasing some patient information in the Philippines. This is very much true in the West. Stuck – he could not get any help. From the embassy. From the authorities. From the hospital. The more the “I was scammed theory” was getting real. To him, this pregnancy is not true. The hospital through the help of the real estate business was extorting money from him. Mayen, his love made a fool out of him.
Mayen, the good side
There were several instances in the journal where Mayen was actually very protective and caring to Tim. I’m not sure if this was in fact a show of love by Mayen or was just the nature of Mayen. Let me show you:
Mayen, the ugly side
But there was also the ugly side of Mayen. It’s definitely not one Filipina image that could be proud of. Carefree, bahala na. It’s obvious that she also wanted out. Out of poverty and have a good life. If the letter was real, as written by Sir Francis in Journey 32, Mayen, being an unsuccessful agent had the opportunity of her life to get out of the poverty she was in, had she played her cards right. Here are the instances where it showed Mayen’s indiscretion and lies:
I have a feeling that Mayen do not have any feelings for Tim in the beginning. She was a small-time money-asking girlfriend who was trying to enjoy the little money she could get from Tim.
Tim’s theory on the hospital involvement
Mayen was admitted on August 10, 2007. When did she checked out of the hospital? On the 22nd. The dates on the invoice indicated that she was admitted on the 10th and checked out on the 13th. That’s three (3) days. If you look at the details of the room charges, it was for 10.5 days. There was the nail in the scam button as far as Tim was concerned. Could this be a result of panic invoicing?
In Journey 23 and in Journey 24, he was sure that it was the duty of the hospital to get in touch with him urgently on the Monday 13th August. They failed to do so - and as a direct result of this inaction, they corroborated the evidence that there was a fraud-taking place, preventing him from flying to the Philippines. To Tim, that was conclusive evidence.
In Journey 23, the more it solidified his doubts because he received a letter from some attorney without any return address that later he would discover to be a writer for the Philippine Daily Inquirer - Efren C Carag.
Tim’s theory on the real estate involvement
In Journey 17, Mayen informed Tim that her boss has decided that all 3 girls should now share a room. Mayen wants to find another place to stay. Questions on Tim’s mind: will he pay? Eventually, he sent money to pay for the room. But to Tim, the stage was being set for a scam and it’s the work of Sir Francis. This was the part where he tied Sir Francis to the “scam”. The rest that happened with Sir Francis paying for the deposit, assisting Mayen, communicating to the hospital, instructing Marivien, including the invitation to tour the real estate were just proofs of the scam.
CONCLUSION
I do not believe that there was scam at the hospital. The inability of the hospital to return the calls to Tim could well be because of the doctor-patient privacy rules. If it was the hospitals inability to return the calls to Tim nor was it a refusal on their part was not conclusive enough that there was a scam. The mistake on the dates on the invoice could very well be just that – a mistake. After all, if you’re an accountant in such a pressured situation where you were just accused of scamming, I wonder how the accountant was feeling preparing and printing the invoice. Panic invoicing?
Although I disagree with the insinuation of Filipina Images blog to the effect that a scam won’t happen because somebody is Christian, which is not only ridiculous but outright outlandish, I do not believe that there exists a real estate scam. There was no evidence to prove that Sir Francis and his real estate agents were acting as fronts for a real estate scam simply because Sir Francis made some re-arrangements as to how many girls will be sleeping in Mayen’s room.
What is this all about then?
This is a story that’s done, finished and the characters involved – convicted, in the minds of Tim. He has already made up his mind that new stories coming out and bloggers writing about this will just repeat everything without offering any new evidences, but rather, just denounce his story as hoax.
This is a story about two colliding cultures and personalities. Mayen was the victim of her own doing. She was a small-time money-asking girlfriend that was not in love with Tim in the beginning which is why she was enjoying asking small amounts of money from Tim and enjoying it with her friends. Tim was madly in love with Mayen. Because Mayen could not offer “protection” to Tim (reassurance that the world is not against Tim), he created his own “I was scammed theory”.
This is a story about two people who wanted to get out of a ridiculous situation both wanting to have a perfect life.
This is a story about love that can’t seem to overcome and conquer some serious personality and cultural differences.
This is a very sad story of utter ignorance. Ignorance about the Filipino culture. How each act of kindness, friendliness and even smiles were met with some insane explanations like snakes, hungry crabs and small-time shop-lifting.
This is a story about a personal, a very personal problem of Mayen and Tim that has become so public and that only they could resolve.
This is a story that is a product of Tim’s doubts and fears and escalated into a mix of fantasy/reality that’s already imbedded in his mind. A story that was already hatched in the UK even before it started in Manila and everything that happened in between were just proofs of those doubts and fears.
This is a story about a person who believes and continues to believe that the world is against him, that the world ruined his dreams and shall therefore suffer his internet wrath. We may never know what kind of traumatic experience he had in the past nor how bad his marriage was, that contributed to this unbelievable rage of negative opinion of everything and anything.
This is a story about a person who does not have faith in himself and in anyone, a person who is not thankful for what he has, and a person who believed that everyone around him is out to con and scam him.

Related Entries:
1. Moral righteousness, Part 1
2. Moral righteousness, Part 2
3. Was there a scam? - Part 1
4. Was there a scam? - The motive






April 22nd, 2008 at 11:56 am
Reyna,
Married men will always use that as an excuse to seduce gullible women.
What is a married guy doing in a dating site?
Have you read this?
“I’m throwing away my marriage, my house - destroying any vestiges of trust I had with my wife.”
If the marriage is really in a rut, why does he care if he is throwing away his marriage?
The Ca t’s last blog post..Not Frequently Asked Questions-Anatomy of a Scam
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reynz (3237 comments.) reply on April 22, 2008:
Hey Cat, yeap, I read that part where he was very concerned about the fact that he might be losing everything. He said this after he came up to the conclusion that he was being scammed by Mayen.
We may never know if what he’s written is in fact the real thing - meaning - was he really an unhappy man? Or just another horny guy looking for sex on the internet. Remember how he enjoyed “THE HANDS” that probably the wife cannot give him? One great Mayen’s talent that obviously magnetized him. There could be tons of reasons. But I agree, that was the part I was kind of grayish and let me tell you why:
1.) If his marriage was in a rut - how come the wife was willing to pay with “HER OWN” savings?
2.) If his marriage was in a rut - agree - who cares really? Him? Not the least! Hahaha!
3.) Was he holding on to his “rotten marriage” just in case things don’t work out?
I have had several ex-boyfriends who were married and I could list dozens of alibi why they love me (according to them) Hahaha! But then again, this is not my story and I am certainly not a lonely person.
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:17 pm
teka bakit dapat english ang comment? anyway, i would say there are people who live in a fantasy world of their own; and when that fantasy doesnt tally, reality would be hard to accept. the thing is, there are not only girls from the philippines and boys from england; this thing is happening all over the world, in all parts. malas na lang nung couple who got the same attention as this couple. what could i say? i am glad my husband have an open mind and could accept what a pinay and what pinas is all about.
kengkay’s last blog post..Mga Hayop
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reynz (3 comments.) reply on April 23, 2008:
Good point kengkay. i’m no relationship guru, but I have had relationship with a guy from Dublin, Ireland and another from Bogota, Colombia and one thing I knew I did was to adjust to their ways because I know culture will always be a factor. Unless they work out the culture part, it’s going to be a tough act. Tim cannot simply cannot expect that the women that he meets automatically adjust and know his culture and/or vice-versa, right?
reynz’s last blog post..Was there a scam? - Part 2
April 23rd, 2008 at 2:09 am
what can i say? ang daming kwento ganito kamahalan grabe merong sad at karamihan happy… mahirap talga buhay sa pinas ano ba yan? eto worst pa tong kaopisina kong puti nagtataka ko ba’t antipatika ako sa kanya eto after 3 mos nagtapat sa kin (sikretong matindi) nascam pala ng pinay sa internet at nahuthutan ng $3k married pala ang girlash yun bigo ang mokong at lagi ako inisnab pero ngayon friends na kami at nagpapahanap pa ng pinay di nadala hehehehehe
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April 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 am
I still am not sure whether the scam theories were false but based from Tim’s being so paranoid and his intension to sell this story (for what?), I believe he’s really a psycho guy who only wants foreign sex that his wife could not give him. Hahaha, what a freak. Now I’m thinking he’s just made the other details to sweeten his story for the prospect buyers. LOL!
Still, I also think Mayen was wrong for having sex with the British freak. Now they’re a bunch of freak and they both should suffer the consequences of both their actions.
I believe Tim has wrote his journal on the internet for the purpose of selling it later or earning from it in any possible way so therefore, not all the details it his journal must be true. Maybe most of them are sweeteners he intended to put to attract prospect buyers.
This is a story from a British freak who hates the world and expect the world to pay him in any way. Hahaha!!!
Kotsengkuba’s last blog post..Is Shanghai MagLev an Expensive Lemon?
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reynz (3 comments.) reply on April 23, 2008:
I won’t call him paranoid, I think it was a culture shock, I mean there was not much preparation there for 2 months. The other thing, it’s Tim’s nature to be so scared, worried to death and very negative. Whatever it is that drove him to be like that - he needs to revisit that and understand why he is like that. The world is not perfect and it wasn’t meant to be. We’re supposed to weave through the dysfunctionalities in life like what God taught us to do. He’s be a very very lonely person until the end if he doesn’t face the truth that life is beautiful and by default, people are good natured and are not out to get him. But first, he needs to trust people. He cannot just forever dictate people to trust him. It works both ways.
reynz’s last blog post..Was there a scam? - Part 2
MissPinkBiik (79 comments.) reply on April 23, 2008:
I have read this story way back at Pinay in England website. I actually made a comment that TIM is U#IUY*@UY&*( pervert. who is going through a mid life crisis. And he seems to have a mistrusting personality which is so sad. His wife is not the problem it is his outlook in life that is making him miserable and unhappy. He thought a yonger *#$U&(@ would be the answer or solution to his unhappiness. When the first thing he should have done was go to a psychiatrist and get mental help… ARGH1!!!! This is just getting on my nerve!!! This things, instances however you want to call it but this happens in every country all over the world why the hell are we being singled out!!!! REALLY !!!! tell ME…
MISS FLAMINGRED BIIK!!!!!
MissPinkBiik’s last blog post..Spread the Linky Love
reynz (3237 comments.) reply on April 23, 2008:
can you share the link? you’re not talkinga about joy’s site are you?
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:52 am
ok I am calmer know :-)… PERVERT!!!!
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reynz (3237 comments.) reply on April 23, 2008:
I would not call him pervert because perversion is some nasty thing they do behind the blankets hehehehe! Who knows what they did and who cares really? hahaha
reynz’s last blog post..Was there a scam? - Part 2
MissPinkBiik (79 comments.) reply on April 23, 2008:
I tried to look for the site and I could not find the site but I will keep looking and give you the link. What would a married man of his age want a young woman for? Pervert he he he he he…. even my caucasian friends thinks he is a perv…
About him buying a flip flop for the Filipina GIRL… I guess I scammed MATIL-DUH for buying me my ROBERTO CAVALI sandals which she paid for $1000.00… hmmmm so what do you call me now? Oh here is another one, what about my boyfriend giving me his entire paycheck…. hmmmm I GUESS I SHOULD BE NEXT LINE for being a huge SCAM artist and SOCIAL CLIMBING biatche!
Pahabol: mayroong hairdresser, na nag papasabi na sya ang boylet nya nakuha nya sa ganda at di sa load…. ha ha ha ha ha
MissPinkBiik’s last blog post..Spread the Linky Love
reynz (3237 comments.) reply on April 24, 2008:
Miss Pink Biik,
My boylets, they always scam me, every month hehehe! They come up with a lot of stories cry baby stories and you know, my heart melts and my wallet explodes in glory to my boylets, everybody is happy, i cry for one day, then hunt for my next boylet.
Now - so what? I am happy. Eh di mag-pa-scam uli! Problema ba yon? Ginapala at ginapiko ko ata ang pera! Ha! Hahahahah!
MissPinkBiik (79 comments.) reply on April 24, 2008:
kita ko si tonyo kanina mama ang boylet nya ang bango! ha ha ha ha ha … nag pakalbo ko kanina syempre social climber ako at mangagamit so i paid him $3.oo short sa singil nya bwa ha ha ha ha ha
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:17 am
This is just a case of a person who wants to cover his track.
A decent married man would not go to a dating site to lure Filipinas to have a relationship.
A true love is unconditional. Money does not matter. It is wise to be cautious dealing with people of other ethnicity but it is different when you accuse the whole village of conspiracy when you are conveniently safe, distant from the clout of law.
To accuse everyone of scamming him with his meager sum of pounds which he thinks is going to contribute to the GDP of the Philippines, it is not called paranoia, it is genius way of extricating himself from legal and moral responsibilities that he had caused.
When a man tries to be a moralist, when he himself is immoral, what do you make out of a man?
When a man with a measly sum of money to buy the flip flop for his supposed loved one thinks he is a golden goose that is made to lay a golden egg, what golden egg is he talking about?
The many blogsites that he put up is just a ploy so that he can not be traced.
Just like the way he barked up on the people to do the get the information he needed from the hospital instead of dealing with them directly, he was actually shieldding himself when he conveniently used disposable websites and e-mail addresses.
Bet, his wife does not know what really happened?
As I have said divorce in the UK is bloody. When spouse is able to prove that the significant other is guilty of infidelity, he loses all his share in the conjugal property.
If he is really serious of marrying the girl, he would know that remittances to support a fiance is one of the requirements of the British embassy to prove that there is really a relationship and that it is not a convenience marriage or any fakery to get a British visa.
It is customary for interracial relationships that the future groom spends for the needs of the woman.
What is considered gold-digging is when you have not met each other and the woman is already asking for money.
What is considered gold-digging is when a woman lies just to extract money from the man.
The ectopic pregnancy is real. HE DOES NOT WANT TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY so he did everything to make it appear it is a scam. BUT WAIT, he exonerated his lover from it. He wrote later (when they are together again) that she is a victim and a pawn of a grand conspiracy. While he is calling her a slut, he is professing his undying love in their chat .
He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
The Ca t’s last blog post..Dancing with the Stars-The Results
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reynz (3237 comments.) reply on April 23, 2008:
If you notice he does talks about people fleecing him of his money, his money, his money.
You convinced me on the IRRESPONSIBILITY part which i forget.
He does contradicted himself in his journals many many times.
- The love for Mayen is one
- The trust especially
reynz’s last blog post..Was there a scam? - Part 2
April 24th, 2008 at 12:27 am
Luring westerners to buy properties is not a scam. It is called marketing. This is real estate investment. If the buyers do not want the properties, they can sell.
The big market in UK for real estate are the OFWs and immigrants. They buy for their relatives in the PHilippines or for rent outs.
He just thinks that he is a big time.
As he has written:
“I am being stared at constantly - veiwed as an oddity, a celebrity even - & worryingly - a source of money.”
Bili lang flip flops yong girl friend, kinuwenta na. Cheap.
Bili lang ng chicken na kinain ng mga kamag-anak ng girl friend, kinuwenta pa yung buto. Sus.
“I had been asked to pay for the feast - that I was only offered a meagre chicken wing and a small spoonful of rice - while the others piled in - mostly eating with their hands - to helping after helping - I was frightened by the spectre of the golden goose again.”
Chicken lang yan. Ano pa kaya kung hamon yan. Baka tinalian niya para amuyin lang Kinuwenta niya yong pinakain niya sa host niya, di naman niya kinuwenta na libre ang pagtira niya doon. Mweheheh.
The Ca t’s last blog post..Madonna Decena made Simon Cowell said yes
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reynz (3237 comments.) reply on April 24, 2008:
Ugh! Gapatuka na lang ako sa ahas uy! How could he be a source of money, he doesn’t even have money to buy for his airfare? If he has, this problem would have never occurred and he has seen the OTHER scar, I mean, he has been playing with the original scar ever since! Hallller! hhahahaha
April 24th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Ms. Pinkbiik,
if he has a problem with his marrriage, he should have sought a marriage counsellor.
While he is looking for a “replacement” of his wife, he was careful not to make his wife discover his illicit affair.
How much is a flip-flop in the Philippines? $50?
And he is already thinking he is a golden goose.
The Ca t’s last blog post..Madonna Decena made Simon Cowell said yes
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reynz (3237 comments.) reply on April 24, 2008:
Golden slippers for Php2,000??? Sobra naman! Double the price panigarilyo lang yan nang mga boylets ko! Hahahaha! And alam kong ini-iskam ako BUWAN BUWAN and I LOVE IT! HAHAHAH
April 24th, 2008 at 1:10 am
I don’t think he needs a marriage counselor kasi it sounds like he has personal issues that he needs psychiatric help.
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reynz (3237 comments.) reply on April 24, 2008:
And if he wants to know how to social climb, he could always review our social climbing lessons here. They’re guaranteed. You don’t even have to go to these Dating Sites no more. Divanetch?
Pinuntahan ko yong site nya! Na-tame-me ata at di na nakasagot! hheheh
April 24th, 2008 at 1:36 am
good because all my caucasian troop said you would even find that sa next door neighbor mo… bobo lang sya pumunta pa sya ng malayo ha ha ha ha ha ha…
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