America, the beautiful?
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HAY BUHAY AMERICA TALAGA!Â
(Anonymous: English mistranslation by Reyna Elena)
Akala ng mga tao na nasa Pilipinas kapag nasa America ka akala nila madami ka ng pera. Ang totoo, madami kang utang, dahil credit card lahat ang gamit mo sa pagbili mo ng mga gamit mo. Kailangan mo gumamit ng credit card para magka-credit history ka, kase pag hindi ka umutang o wala kang utang, hindi ka pagkakatiwalaan ng mga kano . Pag wala kang credit card, ibig sabihin wala kang kapasidad magbayad.
People in the Philippines thinks that we in America have truckshit of money. Truth is, we have truckshit of debts! Ok?! We use credit card for just about anything including wiping our ass! Understand that we need credit card to have a credit history. Por que? No credit history? No credit. No credit? It means you can’t afford! You can’t afford? It means purdoy ka Dong! Wa ka datung. At pag wa ka datung, it means… No sex! Git it? Hahahaha!!!!
Akala nila mayaman ka na kase may kotse ka na. Ang totoo, kapag hindi ka bumili ng kotse sa America maglalakad ka ng milya-milya sa ilalim ng init ng araw o kaya sa snow. Walang jeepney, tricycle o padyak sa America ..
They think that just because you drive a Lexus, a BMW or a Mercedes - we are rich! Crap!!! [Ulol!] Truth is, if you don’t have a car, you don’t get a date coz you have to walk to the bar! you have to walk to work! You wanna take a hike in deep snow or in boiling summer heat? You people try it! Tingnan ko lang kung sinong magka-kulogo! Listen to us, there are no jeeps nor tricycle here, ok? Not even a padyak!
Akala nila masarap ang buhay dito sa America . Ang totoo, puro ka trabaho kase pag di ka nagtrabaho, wala kang pangbayad ng bills mo sa kotse, credit card, ilaw, tubig, insurance, bahay at iba pa. Hindi ka na pwedeng tumambay sa kapitbahay kase busy din sila maghanap buhay pangbayad ng bills nila.
They think, life in America is wonderful! La! La! La! Truth is, it’s all work! Work! Work! Work! Because if you don’t work, you got no money. Got no money? Got no yosi. Got no yosi? Got no drinks. Got no drinks? Got no friends. No friends? Mag-emote kang mag-isa mo! git it?
Akala nila masaya ka kase nagpadala ka ng picture mo sa Disneyland, Seaworld, Six Flags, Universal Studios at iba pang attractions. Ang totoo, kailangan mo ngumiti kase nagbayad ka ng $70+ para makarating ka dun, kailangan mo na naman ang 10 hours na sweldo mong pinangbayad sa ticket.
They think life is lovely in America because you sent them pictures from all these beautiful places in America. Truth is, it took you 5 years to save on your freaking vacation, ok?! So, now! You have to smile on the camera to pretend! HAHAHAHA!!! Oh, did I mention that those people waiting in line were probably looking at your weird because you look and talk different? Huh!
Akala nila malaki na ang kinikita mo kase dolyar na sweldo mo. Ang totoo, malaki pagpinalit mo ng peso, pero dolyar din ang gastos mo sa America. Ibig sabihin ang dolyar mong kinita sa presyong dolyar mo din gagastusin. Ang P15.00 na sardinas sa Pilipinas $1.00 sa America , ang isang pakete ng sigarilyo sa pilipinas P40.00, sa America $ 6.50, ang upa mo sa bahay na P10,000 sa Pilipinas, sa America $1,000++.
They think your take home pay is as big as Donald Trump’s ego! Truth is: Php15 sardines is $1 in America. Php40 pack of cigarette in the Philippines is $6.5 in America. Php7,000 2-bedroom apartment in the Philippines is $1,200 in America. What about your state, city, local, county, borough, school district taxes? Did I mention federal? Oh shit! I forgot all of those unemployment shit! Wow! There’s even unemployment insurance! Wait! Anybody understands SDI deductions???
Akala nila buhay milyonaryo ka na kase ang ganda ng bahay at kotse mo. Ang totoo milyon ang utang mo. Ang bago mong kotse 5 taon mong huhulugan. Ang bahay 30 taon mong huhulugan. Ibig sabihin, alipin ka ng bahay at kotse mo.
They think you’re a millionaire because you have a nice house and drives a luxury car. Truth is, your stuck to the mortgage of your house dude! You’re stuck to your monthly car payments dude! The new car has to be paid in 5 years. The house will have to be paid in 30 years. In reality, we’re all stucked to our house and our car forever! This is like prison term, ok?!
Madaming naghahangad na makarating sa America . Lalo na mga nurses, mahirap maging normal na manggagawa sa Pilipinas. Madalas pagod ka sa trabaho. Pag dating ng sweldo mo, kulang pa sa pagkain mo. Pero ganun din sa ibang bansa katulad ng America Hindi ibig sabihin dolyar na ang sweldo mo, yayaman ka na, kailangan mo ding magbanat ng buto para mabuhay ka sa ibang bansa.
Even Arroyo wants to live in America!! She’s always here! HAHAHA!. We know, it’s tough to work in the Philippines. More often than not, you’re always tired and your salary is not even enough to buy food, wine and women! America? It does not follow that just because we earn dollar, we are one of Forbes millionaire. Truth is, we work like a horse to live decently here just like everyone in other countries! Ok?!
Isang malaking sakripisyo ang pag alis mo sa bansang pinagsilangan at malungkot iwanan ang mga mahal mo sa buhay.Hindi pinupulot ang pera dito o pinipitas. Hindi ako naninira ng pangarap, gusto ko lang buksan ang bintana ng katotohanan.
It’s a great sacrifice to leave your concubines behind. It’s a great sacrifice to leave all your boytoys and boylets behind. The place where you were born, became man and grow up as a woman! In America, mangarap kayo but we don’t sweep dollars on the streets! We work hard like crazy to earn them! I’m not shooting your American Dream down. I’m just telling you the hard shit reality here!
Now, let’s get back to PPP and Review Me. Naka-magkano na kayo dyan?
I have no clue who wrote this one. If you do, let me know so I can give some proper acknowledgement. I got this from my friends in Philadelphia and apologies talaga sa original writer! Napag-katuwaan ko lang po! Hahahaha!!!!
Popularity: 9% [?]
December 19th, 2007 at 3:52 am
nice translation. i received this email din…mas na-appreciate ko ang translation mo. CHARING!!!!! ginawa mong comedy…bruhaaa!
na-touched na nga sana ako sa tagalog! feel na feel ko..BINABOY MOOOOOOO!!!!!
hahahahhaha
Grabe yang CHAN na yan 13,461$$$$ waaaaaaaahhh that’s 500K++
chuvaness’s last blog post..How to handle hate and annoying comments
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reynz (163 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
HAHAHA!!! Eh ano ba naman! Masyadong emote ko kanina sa opis dahil graveyshus ever naman tong sinulat nya ano?! EH pano to! Nagmayabang pa naman ako sa Barrio Siete taz isisiwalat nya pala katotohanan??? HAHAHA
reynz’s last blog post..Filipina Dubai visitor left alone with leukemia
December 19th, 2007 at 4:00 am
ampft!!!! kailangang magatasan na yang PPP na yan! makabili na ng 50 dictionary. wahahahaha!
mudra abangan mo ang nirekwes mo sa aking kanta… mapapaemote ka talaga. idadownload ko. lang. dahil lab na kita eksklusib lang muna sayo ang rekwested corner.
jojitah’s last blog post..I?m gonna die, coz I?m so SOWSI
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reynz (163 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
UY Jojitah mahal ko noh! bayad mo saken dahil binati kita sa buong pilipinas sa DWIZ! IZwaziwazi kong kahunghangan dun! hahaha!!
reynz’s last blog post..Filipina Dubai visitor left alone with leukemia
December 19th, 2007 at 4:38 am
meron nga din akong kopya nito hehehe. si diwa nakita ko yan kahapon while roaming around PPP’s vicinity lols
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reynz reply on December 19, 2007:
Andyan pa nakabalandra si Diwa sa PPP! hahaha! As in eto! dahil nasa AMERIKA ako - PPP! PPP! PPP! hahahaha!!!!
December 19th, 2007 at 4:42 am
hahaha hard shit reality talaga anlufet ng banat mo
nakaka 32$ pa lang ako sa palito na yan, lage ako nauubusan pag login ko ala na opps! dang!
pusa’s last blog post..partee
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reynz reply on December 19, 2007:
ba’t ganun? currently nag PPP ako and I have a lot here! as in 5 pages to! you mean, iba ang page nang PPP dyan sa Pinas???
pusa (83 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
eh amma mas marami offer sayo, kc daw you have your own haws n lot with car pa. eh ako nakikirent lang sa blogspot with PR3
pusa’s last blog post..partee
reynz reply on December 19, 2007:
pusa naman, puro lang pang show off ginagawa ko noh! hahaha!! taz si malen naman ang appraisal officer ko na walang ginawa gawin akong milyonaryo! taz the reality is, eto ako, nag PPP!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
magsabi ka lang nga! whisper mo lang saken! you know! about dun sa sinabi ko! hahahaha
pusa (83 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
hihihihi
salamat mama mwah, nipag-iisipan ko
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reynz reply on December 19, 2007:
ANO SASAGUTIN MO NA AKO?! DALIAN MO HABANG WALA ANG ASAWA KONG SI MALEN AT AMBO! HAHAHAHA!!! Pero ok lang! Take your time, eh kasi ako, magulo din ang bahay ko! HAHAHA! Mayamaya nito crash na naman to! Hinaharass ako nang landlord ko na bilhin ko na yong offer nila! HmpT!
pusa (83 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
hahaha… naku baka pag nagkita uli kami 3 eh sabunutan at ihulog ng mga asawa mo!!
pusa’s last blog post..partee
chuvaness (450 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
ako na ang sasagot para kay PUSA!! OO NA!! DOT COM NA!!! Yiheee! You soo deserve a DOT COM mare!
Pag nag crash,
*haha, blogspot pa din ang host mo so malamang di mag crash yun*
SAGOT KITA!!
Walang ka-effort-effort as in. Yung malensky.net ko is powered by blogger din. Pina-domain ko lang. Dun ko mismo binili sa blogspot.com 10$ and 1 hour lang activated na yung domain. Good things is ma-re-redirect yung heyokity.blogspot.com sa new domain mo na heyokity.com so you don’t have to ask your friends to change your link sa blogroll nila.
Hay, na nosebleed ako sa first ever paid opps na sinagutan ko kanina. Hahahahah
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chuvaness (450 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
“ANO SASAGUTIN MO NA AKO?! DALIAN MO HABANG WALA ANG ASAWA KONG SI MALEN AT AMBO”
HINDE AKO NAG SESELOS!!!!!!!
DAHIL ALAM KO NA MAS BONGGA ANG IREREGALO MO SA KIN!!!!!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
chuvaness’s last blog post..How to handle hate and annoying comments
reynz (163 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
malen! you mean, meron ka nang sinulat na paid oppss? hahaha! ma check nga!!!
reynz’s last blog post..Get restaurant capital financing from the people who knows restaurant business
reynz (163 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
ASZWA KO! actually yong regalo ko sayo? YUN NA YON! YUNG PAGBATI KO SA DWIZ! O divanetch? International pa! HAHAHAHA
reynz’s last blog post..Get restaurant capital financing from the people who knows restaurant business
chuvaness (450 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
uu, about insurance…eh wala naman akong alam dun noh! hahah..anak ng bwena manong INSURANCE YAN! nakakairita!!!! piniga ang utak ko..ang alam ko lang eh yung family first na tinataguan ko sa sa SM dahil ang hilig manghatak…hahahah
chuvaness’s last blog post..How to handle hate and annoying comments
kotsengkuba (359 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
wala pa dun sa mynosebleed. baka nasa malensky.. matingnan nga din. hehehe
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pusa (83 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
di halatang nahirapan ka sa paid post mo mare, pro ang dating
gleng gleng
pusa’s last blog post..partee
pusa (83 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
nyay pati un LOI na ipass ko sa adb nagkakaron ng PPP!!! cge na nga later na lang… hay naku sagabal talaga ang work ko sa blog
pusa’s last blog post..partee
chuvaness (450 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
sabi ko na nga ba at mag kukuripot ka sa kin!! Ayuf. Oks lang dahil wala rin akong regalo sayo. LOL
seriously, your friendship and LOVE and HATE is more than I could ask for. CHARING!!!!!!!
chuvaness’s last blog post..How to handle hate and annoying comments
reynz (163 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
nabasa ko na Malen! ang galing! nadoble pa ata yong message ko dun sa exitement! hahaha
reynz’s last blog post..Get restaurant capital financing from the people who knows restaurant business
reynz (163 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
ah basta malen, ayusin mo ang money making online mo para pag kaya mo nang buhaying mga kaartehan ko sa buhay pati na mga allowances nang mga boylets ko, uwi na ako. o di ba? di happy tayo! hahahahahaa
reynz’s last blog post..Get restaurant capital financing from the people who knows restaurant business
chuvaness (450 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
WOW! PINURI MO KOOOOOO!!!!!
AHAHHAHAHA. I FEEL LIKE HEAVEN!!!!! LOL
chuvaness’s last blog post..How to handle hate and annoying comments
chuvaness (450 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
HAhahaha. OO!!! Gagastusan kita! Kesehodang igapang kita sa lusak!! Isasakdal ko ang lahat masunod lang ang mga kapricho mo pati ang panlalalake mooooo!!! Hahahahahaha
chuvaness’s last blog post..How to handle hate and annoying comments
reynz (163 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
PUCHA!!! IKAW NA NGA ANG HINAHANAP KOOO!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Hoy! Eh magaling ka namang mag-english ano! Drama mo talaga! Kala ko talaga kung anong nosebleed! hahaha
reynz’s last blog post..Get restaurant capital financing from the people who knows restaurant business
December 19th, 2007 at 5:01 am
nyah! si diwatangbyaning nakabalandra sa PPP. sayang di ko napansin at may tutok ako dun sa ooprtunities page. nyahahaha!
kotsengkuba’s last blog post..Kotsengkuba?s Picks for Project Lafftrip Laffapallooza
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reynz reply on December 19, 2007:
AYUN ang Diwa, nag selebrate sa Oscar Award nya! Nag-lalalasing! hehehe!
December 19th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Hay tama lang ibulgar ang katotohanan na hindi gawang biro rumampa sa planeta ng mga puti noh!!
cheh’s last blog post..Christmas Market
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reynz (163 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
HAHAHA!! Kakosaaaaa!!!! Di ba? Eh mali kasi talaga akala nang mga relathieves ko pati na nga mag kebigan ko! Kala nila nasa heaven na dito! Pucha kalbaryo sa pagod noh! hahaha
reynz’s last blog post..Collection for Ofelia Lumakang hits AED 11,600!!!
December 19th, 2007 at 7:19 am
knock! knock! naipost ko na ang iyong rekwes na emote ever song.
kinatok na kita mudra ng mapagsawaan mo ng pakinggan. 
jojitah’s last blog post..I?m gonna die, coz I?m so SOWSI
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reynz (13 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
hehehe, matutulog na sana ako! pero di bale! mag-eemote muna ako sa site mo! hahaha! alas 2:31 na dito nang madaling araw at ako eh nag-oovertime pa! hahaha!!!
malen (3 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
hahahaha
ang ganda nun song jojitah! hahahahha
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reynz reply on December 20, 2007:
pucha! ilang bondook ba tinahak nang jojitah para lang makita yong sung na yon? as in tumbok na tumbok ang sakit sa pusong dinaraman kooo!!! hahaha
December 19th, 2007 at 7:53 am
ang galing mo pala mamita mag translate ng ingles sa tagalog… 100% audience impact lol…
ps. malapit na po ang pasko…
joyjoy’s last blog post..sato ini*
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reynz (13 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
Charing lang yon joy! hahaha!
December 19th, 2007 at 8:12 am
So who’s complaining??
[reply this comment]
reynz (13 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
Moi? Nope! No complaint po! Hahahaah!
partofyou (53 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
karma mama, balance of nature daw po lahat, lahat ng harapan me likuran, nasa merika ka, sikat ka! bayad ka utang, dusa ka! but we are advised to accept our karma with a SMILE, like our reyna elena here!!!!!!
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reynz reply on December 20, 2007:
eeek! roni! sobrang karma naman to sa kasikatan? ano yun? hahaha!
December 19th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Salamat naman Queen sa page na ito! *hik-hik*
diwatang_byaning’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Rebecca! (best kept secret - her age!)
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reynz (13 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
ang halaga nyan isang boteng pulang tubig na nakakalasing hindi yong bumubula!!!
December 19th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
grabe, may datung talaga sa PPP kaso mo ang tamad ko mag inglis e. ang tagal ko ng member dyan kaso mo naman natutulog ako parati sa pansinan, hehehe
kengkay’s last blog post..Regalo Sa Sarili Ko
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reynz (13 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
kengs yong isang kapitbahay mo dyan si cheh grabe daw kung humataw sa ppp! hahahaha
December 19th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Hehe! Ang galing ng entry mo reynz tumbok talaga yung buhay sa abroad. Pero mas ok yung translation!
kiko’s last blog post..Yummy!
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reynz (13 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
tumbok ba? hahahaha! natakot ako baka isumpa ako nang mga tiga America! hahahaha!!!!
December 19th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Lahat ng nabanggit dito saludo ako! Sabi nga ni Kuya Kiko natumbok mo. Bravo sa translation!
Misyel’s last blog post..Galing mo!
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reynz (13 comments.) reply on December 19, 2007:
brutal honesty ba? hahaha! napaglaruan ko lang misyel! hahaha