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How can you tell if a guy is gay?

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Natumba ako sa post na to ni Kengkay. How can you tell if a guy is gay? Sino si Kengkay? Sabi sa CIA Annual Report:

Si Kengkay ay isang operadang gurl. Isa akong transvestite. Isa akong babaeng bading, waaahhhhhh :D Successful daw ang aking operasyon kaya ako nagka-anak.

Wala lang, basta alam ko lang na gurl ang isang poging jolaking kaharap ko kahit na macho pa ang dating nya at super ooozing with sex happeal sya. Kahit pa may sukbit syang woman.

My answer? It’s in the eyes. Me kebigan akong parang pato mag-lakad tapos lima anak. Kaklase ko nasa Canada naman, boses babae, tapos me kalaguyo pang babae ang gago. Saken talaga, sa eyes. Pag ayaw tumingin sayo! Ayaw sayu! Korek? Kaya, eto binabalik ko ang nakaraan. . . basahin at subukan naten kung tama nga . . .

THAT LOOK COULD MEAN HE IS INTERESTED WITH YOU!Â

picture-076.JPG

You know, even though I really, really wanted to go home sa Manila for good, masaya naman kami actually dito sa Philly. We party all the time, get drunk (sila, di ako), get wasted (sila, di ako), get molested (sila, di ako) and arrest some cops (sila, di ako).

 

Learn some more social climbing skills!!!

Dahil nga mahilig kaming humada we are very friendly, there was this rule that I learned sa bars, which has now become part of my social climbing skills. Accordingly, pag me nakatingin daw sayo taz lumagpas nang 1 minute, ibig sabihin, interest ever sayo ang nakatingin - so, you gotta catch that moment and say something - fast! At ang sabi pa, “to smile” is to say something, kung nabilaukan ka to come up with a word. Ayan, pedeng man-hunting skills po yan at pede ring gurl-hunting skills. Getz nyo?

Ok, nailista ba tong bagong social climbing tips naten? Write it down and don’t forget to remember.

 

Social climbing application

Well, I was driving home from work the other day. Trapik. Stop kotse ko. Stop kotse nang mama. Napalingon ako. At muli pang napalingon uli ako. Gwapo!!! Kumurap-kurap ang kilay ko. But I noticed, nakatingin sya. Biglang na-alala ko ang rule!

*TOINK*!!! I was told na pag me nakatingin daw seyo nang lagpas siksti sekon, me interes sayo, kaya you have to say something at ang pag-smile is “something”.

So, nagbilang ako, wan-tansan wan, wan-tansan-tu, hangang limang tansan ang nabilang ko, so me interes sya based dun sa kwagong rule di ba? So, may I smile ang lola. Smile den sya. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Hindi na interes toooo! Boyfriend syaaaa!!!!

 

Green light

 

Sinundan ko sya ngayon.

 

Napansin ko medyo nag slowdown din sya.

 

Tinabihan nya ako.

 

Smile pa den sya! Whoah!

 

Nanga-ngatog na po ang tuhod ko!

 

In my mind, picket fences na toooo! And my imaginations were running wild. Gusto ko, sa Las Vegas ang kasal. Private affair lang. Just like the superstars.

 

Pumasok sya sa magarang development.

 

Sinundan ko.

 

Napansin ko, nag-stop sya.

 

Stop ako. You have no idea! Alam nyo nyong kabog nang kabog ang puso nyo!

 

Grabeeee! Wish ko dalwa lang anak namen. Mahal mag-pa-aral eh.

 

Nasa baba na sya nang kotse inaabangan ako. Inayos ko ang buhok ko. Ang ganda ko talagaaaa!!!

 

Di pa ko nakakababa, lumapet na sya. Binaba ko na lang window ko.

 

Where’s your driver’s license? And why have you been following me?

 

Pulis pala sya!!! [shocked!]

mamangpulisnagwapo.JPG

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19 Responses to “How can you tell if a guy is gay?”

  1. Beng (47 comments.) Says:

    Wahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa! Palpak ang dream wiz mo madam. Pero hoyyy, bilib na talaga ako sa yo. super vivacious ang imagination mo, super bilis, sooo colorful at iba pah! o ano, naka recover ka na ba sa trauma mo?

    sa susunod huwag mong kalimutan na kalahi ka ni maria klara ha? ikaw kasi, kulang nalang na puluputan mo yong tao. ang landi mo talaga :D
    Beng’s last blog post..Seven Truth About Me

    [reply this comment]

  2. Ambo (395 comments.) Says:

    Aba pinost uli. Mukhang di malimutan ang pulis! hehehehe. Pulis, pulis, pulis tutut mong matulis! bwahahahaha

    Ambo’s last blog post..Healthy Kidney for Sale. RUSH!

    [reply this comment]

  3. itsonedollarman (2 comments.) Says:

    kakatawa pa rin ever, malakas ang gaydar ko mamareyn’z, i can easily tell if someone is gay or not, i should be very careful all the time kasi baka madulas ang dila ko, hehehe

    itsonedollarman’s last blog post..Libog Nauwi sa Libag, Hahaha

    [reply this comment]

  4. cheh (79 comments.) Says:

    Ako naman na dedetek ko yan sa paghawak ng kamay,handami na silang naka holding hands kow haha pag alang init ibig pansit sabihon mas tayp nya yung guy na katabi ko hahaha

    Noong college years ko eh,halos kasa kasama sa panood ng sine at lakwatsa eh mga lalakweng macho pa kay cesar Montano,peksman mga barkada lang talaga.Ang pinagtaka ko,bat alang malisya bat feeling ko gurl din sya! tama nga lahat aking hinala nong nalashing eh nagtapat Hindi na ako nagulantang!lol Tama ka rin ateng sa eyes din makikita mo yun.Kung nakabaliktad tingin nya ibig sabihin hindi kayo talo :P
    cheh’s last blog post..German must learn German?

    [reply this comment]

  5. kengkay (161 comments.) Says:

    hindi ka pinatulog nitong post ko ha, hahahaha… basta ako alam ko basta tingin lang sa sa mata, sa ilong, sa pwet, harharhar —

    kengkay’s last blog post..Support PCF Benefit Dinner at Trinoma

    [reply this comment]

  6. nina (276 comments.) Says:

    yong brother ko baby pa lang lam na namin kasi gusto nya dolls. Before mag-school, ginagawang kapa yong kumot. Nung nag-aaral na pag hindi namin nakikita, rumarampa na. heheheehe…

    nina’s last blog post..Happy Thanksgiving

    [reply this comment]

  7. reynz Says:

    @beng,

    hehehe! ganyan ako! hahaha! malapot na tingin pa lang, kasalan na ang nasa utak kooo!

    [reply this comment]

  8. reynz (5386 comments.) Says:

    @ambo,

    guapo talaga sya ever, tsaka, panu mo ba naman makakalimutan ung pulis na to sa experience na ganyan? i love him! hehehe!

    reynz’s last blog post..How can you tell if a guy is gay?

    [reply this comment]

  9. reynz (5386 comments.) Says:

    @lord with onedollar,

    di ba sa mata? o baka ikaw deretso dun? hehehe! malakas din ang gaydar ko, pero pag nag-pa-min at denial queen, pinapabayaan ko na. takot ako eh! hehehe

    reynz’s last blog post..How can you tell if a guy is gay?

    [reply this comment]

  10. reynz (5386 comments.) Says:

    @cheh,

    na-inlababo ka ba sa kaholding hands mo? baka parang ako yun? eto sekreto - walang makaka-alam kasi nasa comment! hehehe! sa kakaholding hand ko sa gurl, na-inlababo ang gurl, at ako naman dahil in denial ever, pinatunayan ko na lang na min ako at nag-date kami ever for many yearsssss! ewwwwww!!!!!!!!

    nasusuka ako pag na-aa-lala kooooooooo!!!

    reynz’s last blog post..How can you tell if a guy is gay?

    [reply this comment]

  11. reynz (5386 comments.) Says:

    @kengkay,

    ano pa nga ba gurl! nung nakita ko entry mo, kung pede pa lang ipa-stop ang holiday sa merika, papastop ko as in buong gabi, kina-na ko yong entry dahil tawa ako nang tawa dun sa post mo! hahahaha

    reynz’s last blog post..How can you tell if a guy is gay?

    [reply this comment]

  12. reynz (5386 comments.) Says:

    @nina,

    ABA!!! “baby pa lang lam na namin kasi gusto nya dolls. Before mag-school, ginagawang kapa yong kumot” HAHAHA!!! me reyna elena pala sa bahay nyo?! BWAHAHAHA! KAKA LURKEYY!!!

    reynz’s last blog post..How can you tell if a guy is gay?

    [reply this comment]

  13. kotsengkuba (359 comments.) Says:

    dun sa post na yun ko unang nakita si Rainier a.

    ambo, zurbano ba ang apelyido mo?

    [reply this comment]

  14. dom (12 comments.) Says:

    nyahahahahahahahaha—i died laughing! –grabeh ka naman kasi kung makatingin bwahahahahhahah—-

    [reply this comment]

  15. thess (32 comments.) Says:

    ha ha ha!! stalker ka daw?!! putris yan ha!

    gusto ko makita feys nya :)

    [reply this comment]

  16. dom (12 comments.) Says:

    dahil pinatay mo na naman ako sa katatawa ay binibigyan kita ng gantimpala mahal konng reyna nyahahahahah-
    kaya hayan- tanggapin mo ITO.
    bless you kapatid!

    [reply this comment]

  17. reynz (5386 comments.) Says:

    @dom,

    nag-iwan po ako nang tanong sa bahay nyo. kung pede lang pong malaman kung pedeng isanla yung award na yan?

    reynz’s last blog post..How can you tell if a guy is gay?

    [reply this comment]

  18. nina (276 comments.) Says:

    Hay naku, actually mas feel nya ang Bb. Pilipnas or Ms. Universe. Kapag nanonood yan ng pageant, may sarili siyang scores, memorize nya yong mga candidates, winners, yong mga gown, etc. :)
    nina’s last blog post..In Memory of My High School Best Friend

    [reply this comment]

  19. Blog of the month awardees Says:

    [...] daw and DOM nang entry na to: How can you tell if a guy is gay? na pasimuno ni Kengkay sa entry na to: How can you tell if a guy is gay? Ang gulo [...]

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How can you tell if a guy is gay?

Post Information for 'How can you tell if a guy is gay?'
Posted on 23 November 2007
Written by reynz
19 Responses to this post

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