As you might have known by now, I love people. I love meeting friends. Nakuuu yabang ever! I got close friends from as far as Moldova and St. Petersburg, Russia. And the ones that I have? I keep them forever. Not only that, mahilig ako mang-agaw! hehehe, like Ambo of Malen. Charinggg!!! Hahaha! But of course naman, ano? Para pag kelangan mo nang mauutangan, marami kang choices! Hehehe! That’s why, I am still close or still maintained friendship ever with my elementary classmates from Barrio Siete. Yeap, kahit sa US, tumatawag ako sa Barrio Siete and they love it.
Isa sa mga klasmeyt ko is now working in Dubai. Ang sabi ni Dubai, “basta magkita kayo ni Lawyer sa Manila”. Dubai called me 48 million times in the US, only to remind me to meet Da Lawyer. Instantly, naisip ko – baka ni-rereto aketch sa sisterrette! I called another classmate from Barrio Siete to confirm, di ko pa natatapos question ko, halos mabasag na ang phone sa kakatawa!
O, get nyu na ang takbo nang stori ko diba? Ma klasmeyt got a sister. Da sister is a lawyer. And Da sister is single. Sad and lonely single. At AKO ang tinatarget.
Anak nang foot n mouth disease!~!@#$%
Dumating ang aking mga friends. After all the usual pagsasamba sa reyna ever, chika chika kami. I opened a bottle of red wine na bumubula (Read: Pepsi! Eh hindi naman pala umiinom ang mga tooo! Rule # 1 – If you wanna be my gurfren, you better drink wine o kahit na anong nakakalasing! Lambanog accepted!
So, ayun chika chika chuvalais.
Iniwan ko ang group sa mga chuvalicious rambunctious cheezemaks nila eh kasi di ako maka-relate. Istoryang kamote eh. Ayoko nang marinig yon, nasaksaktan ako. Eh matagal akong nawala sa Barrio Siete. I head over to the terrace para manigarilyo. Alam nyo naman, sugapa ako sa droga.
I was talking with a male classmate nang biglang dumating si Lawyer. Uminglis. An sama nang tono! Hahaha! Rule # 2 – If you be wanna be my gurpren, and ikaw eh pa-English-inglis, kerr ko kahit anong accent mo! Pliss speek it well, use good English words not some high-faluting mga ewan ko ba! Tinatagalog ko na, iinglisin pa akong hmpt!
So, we sorta started to catch up when that dreaded question (!@$%&*!!!) came up:
Kelan ka ba mag-aasawa?
In the back of my mind – “pakealam mo? “. Pero, ganito na lang ang sinagot ko:
I don’t know. My lover is now married with someone else. Wala pa sa isip ko ang pag-aasawa. (Actually, I was referring to my ex!).
I honestly hate that question. Actually, marami pang questions na iritang irita ako at talagang kumakapal ang kaplastikan ko just to be nice. Here are the questions:
- Why are you still single? (My would be answer: Tanga ka kasi! Wala ka bang naaamoy?)
- Ba’t wala ka pang girlfriend? (My would be answer: An tanga mo kasi eh!)
- Eh sinong mag-aalaga sayo pag-tanda mo? (My would be answer: Hindi ikaw, I’m sure!)
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Anong hinahanap mo sa girlfriend? (This one I enjoy the most, my answer? 12 inches!)
In fairness, the gurl dressed up – well, i dunno – not my type really. Gusto ko na talagang itulak sa terrace eh kasi to namang lalaking kaklase ko isa pang di maka-amoy! Grrr!
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She was wearing some some tiger sumtin’ sumtin’
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Di ko gusto ang eyeliner! Nasobrahan ang kapal.
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Nag-dyip sya pero naka high heels.
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Naka-stockings!
Mabubuang si Matilda nito pag pinakita ko litrato!
Sometimes, it’s just better to say “No”, but ewan ko ba kung bakit ko pinagbigyan ang mga classmates ko to visit me. I wanted to talk about Barrio Siete, not the dating game. I’m not really into this woman! So, I head back sa sala with da lawyer nang biglang sinara ang kwarto!!! Ekkkkk! ~!@#$%^&* Rappppeee! Yong terrace kasi nasa kwarto eh!
I’m really happy you invited me to come here. (Invited?!) This time she was holding my hand with the other hand hinahaplos haplos yong shoulder ko. (Juice kooo! Kelan matatapos tong kalbayong toooo!!!). Nag-gy-gym ka? (Hmpt! Linya ko rin yan!)
Punta ka sa bahay bukas, magluluto ako. Then…
*BOOM* hinalikan nya ako sa pisngi!
Di ko maabot ang telepono.
Pano ba tumawag nang pulis? 911? 411? 711???
Biglang bumukas ang kwarto.
Kebigan ko! “Anong ginagawa nyo rito?”
Di ako naka-reak.
Biruan! Halakhakan! Halata nang iritado ako. Rule # 3, if you wanna be my gurpren, let me be the first to kiss you at medyo konting pahirap/kipot naman para naman feel na worth, di ba? Lumapit saken frend kong si Malou. Ano pare? Ok ba sya? Hirap ako minsan dito sa Manila. I can’t be whatever I wanted to be. Akala ko,wide and open na ako. Kelangan ko pa bang i-advertise? I feel sorry for my classmates. This whole meeting is nothing more than the worst plastic tupperware party! But you have to be nice kasi nga super sensi ang mga pinoy, di ba? Bottom line, Rule # 4, if you wanna be my gurpren, be my boypren. Getz?
Di bale, me date ako later.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
hahahahahaha
ANOBEH!!!!! NALUKRING AKO SAYO REYNZ!!!!!!
chuvaness’s last blog post..Give wholeheartedly or don?t give at all
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*hinika kakatawa*
*puff! puff!*
c 5′s last blog post..I Was Late For The Plane By Two Seconds!
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HAHAHAHA patay ako sa katatawa……….. super to the max na bilib ako sa girl….. talagang tinarget ka niya kamahalan. Ano kaya magiging reaksiyones niya kapag nalaman niyang magkabaro kayo? Kuupooo.. baka sapukin ka inang….. mag-ingat.. Bigay mo saken phone number tawagan ko, sabihin ko di ka talo…hehehehe…
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ano??? di ba nila alam?
di mo sila frend kung ganoon…
kami ang mga frend mo wahehehehe! cause we know you better ….. charing!
nagoyo pala ako..tsk tsk tsk.. di ko pa nakakalimutan yun lol!
melai’s last blog post..High
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ha ha ha!
you are one of kind talaga!
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@chuvaness,
will you accept me that you be my wife? hehehe! *nakaluhod ina-abot mga utang*
@c5, @psyche25 and ching,
it happens all the time! anobahhh! hahaha! kelangan talaga isuot ko korona all the time!!!
@melai,
ano kasi, kilala nila ako nung high school as in madaming… hehehe wag na lang! too much information na tooooo!!!
reynz’s last blog post..What happened in Libis, stays in Libis
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naku may true story na ganyan…
c 5′s last blog post..I Was Late For The Plane By Two Seconds!
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nyahaha! at talagang nilagay sa blog! =)
uy pasado ko sa rule #1, kahit ano iniinom ko hehehe
cge na pagbigayan mo na kahit hangan 2nd date lang, tingnan natin kun malakas nga un gayday nya, pero iposas mo un mga kamay baka reypin ka na nga yan!!!
pusa’s last blog post..angels
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ako, ako, ako — patot-tot din ako kunyari, inom ng waayyyynnn.. pero kabit na lang ang pwede e. tama ka naman sa mga rules mo: spik tagalog o kaya chuva chienes, magpakipot pero maglabas ng konting kaseksihan (backless o kaya mini ba, hehe) at sempre, maging gurl or boy depende sa liligawan mo ahahahaha… sarap ng adventure mo dyan..
kengkay’s last blog post..Magaling talaga ang mga Pinoy
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hahahaha! kwela ever ang girlash na yun ah..
nasobrahan ng eyeliner, bumara sa ilong kaya hindi ka naamoy inang. 
xienigma’s last blog post..the Magical Kiss
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LOL! They just don’t quit. Whenever I visit my Grandma in Bikol, she always makes sure I meet so and so’s daughter who in turn begins flirting with me. But in reality, I’m more interested in Grandma’s hot farm boys. hehe.
JHVRothschild’s last blog post..Happiness?
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Bakit hindi mo gawin isa sa mga Matilda mo yang babaeng naka tiger look?
diwatang_byaning’s last blog post..Mesothelioma Treatment Options
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At kung Ritz naman sya… Alam mo na ang formula diba. I-Bestfren mo! Alam mo naman ako Ilearn from the best!!!
diwatang_byaning’s last blog post..Mesothelioma Treatment Options
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ahahahaha!
nakakaloka tong post mo inang. hahaha.
hmmm… so hindi natuloy yong kissing scene?
sayang naman. hehehe
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