Lost love and broken hearts

July 20, 2007 by reyna10
Filed under: La vida loca 

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I’m crazy for you!

“Do you still love me?”

“Of course! I do! Ano ka ba?” That was his response. Such is the difficulty of a long-range relationship. Half the world long. Very long! And I needed some assurance. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m madly in love. Crazy in love. Whatever. With him. What can I do, I just adore him. And everytime I am home, we always had a great time. Yeah, we had our fights. I’ve noticed some jealous rage. Or was it for something else? We actually had a serious fight on New Year’s eve. Because of what I saw on his mobile phone. Him naked with some girl. I was enraged! We kissed and made up a few days later. That girl, according to him, was history. I believed him.

This is the most difficult part of working overseas. You leave the people that you love behind. A lot of the people do not understand how difficult it is to work abroad. All they think is dollars. It’s not all that. It’s much more. Sometimes, it’s called lost love and broken hearts. We’re not just a bunch of machines, cranking out some mighty dollars, send it back home, everybody is happy and gay. We’ve got feelings too that needs some nourishment and well, attention.

“I have something to tell you.”

I hate that phrase. I always knew that what follows next is something which will not be pleasant to my ears. I said, “What’s up?! Is everything’s ok with you?”. He said, “Yeah! I’ve been doing some training for the past couple of months now. I should be finished right around July and I expect to be able to go abroad, hopefully, this year. I quit my job, already so I could go full-time with this training.”

“Training? What’s this? Abroad? So, this is what you’re telling me?”

He said, “No. It’s like this. I didn’t know how to tell you - but, I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone new.”

“That’s it? That easy? You nuts?! What are you talking about?!”

My heart was beating faster. My blood pressure probably cranked up like crazy. I thought I knew what he was going to say. But then again, somehow deep inside the corner of my brain, I hope he was just making some sick joke on me. I wished. There was silence on the phone. I could feel, he was having some tough time explaining what’s going on. He was trying to be funny and make me laugh but it’s not working. It won’t work! I am feeling angry. I think, I know. I think I heard this before. I hope it’s not true.

“I will soon have a baby. She’s 3 months pregnant.” His voice is cracking up, or was it the phone signal? “We have to get married in August because she’s getting bigger and if we do it longer, we’re afraid the church won’t allow us to get married”.  He continued talking. My mind was already somewhere in Byelorussia or was it Vladivostok?

Silence of the lambs.

Really silent. I could even hear the static lines.

“I want you to come home.”

… and be the ninong. That’s what he said. I honestly don’t know what to think. I must have said yes, although some big bold NO were plastered all over my mind, body and soul!

“I will always love you. You will always be my boyfriend.”

He said… “Don’t worry - you’ll find another one.”

I honestly hate that stupid appeasement line. Fuck that shit!

I’m angry!~!@#$%^&*(

Why does it have to end this way?!

mura.gif

 

SAVE ME
josh-verdes-save-me.mp3

Josh Verdes

(Lyrics stolen from Chuvaness)

Save me
I feel like I’m goin’ crazy
I’ve got this lady man
She’s He’s got me on my knees
I’m saying baby baby dong! dong! please
Don’t leave tonight FOREVER without giving me
Some of your lovin’ it makes me weak
Somebody save me

And lately
I feel like I’m goin’ crazy
I’ve got this lady man
The way her his lips just move
The way her his hips just groove
The feelin’ I get when she he says my name
It’s a feeling that never feels the same
Save me

Coz I found the
Love that is one of a kind
This time I’m in for real
And I know I’m just way too deep
Someone, oh someone
Save me now

And lately,
I know I’m goin’ crazy
I’ve got this lady man
You’re now that’s all I think about
The next time I can think around
I really don’t wanna feel this way
But I think it’s already way too late
Save me

I found the love that is one of a kind
This time I’m in for real
I know..I’m just way too deep
Someone ooohh someone
Save me

Coz I’ve been there way too many times before
And everytime I say it’s not gonna work
Not this time so…save me
Just save me
Somebody save me

Yeah…oh ohhh

Coz I found the love that is one of a kind
This time I’m in for real
and I know I’m just way too deep
Someone…oh someone
I said someone….

Save me now

Save me now…

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Comments

37 Comments on Lost love and broken hearts

  1. bea on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 11:30 am

    2. naku, inang!!! at zinu na naman ba yan? dagdag na naman siya sa mga sugat na iniwan ng mga ama naming mga anak mo. Wag mo na isipin yun. e tingnan mo nga, yung mga tatay namin, ilan sila, fito! siyete! eh tingnan mo nalimutan mo silang lahat! ganyan din mangyayari dyan sa ka-long, long distance love affair mo na yan.

    madali lang gamutin yang sugat sa puso na yan. kumuha ka ng penicillin na tablet, durugin mo. ihalo mo sa pomada. humanap ka dyan ng lolo na gumagamit ng pomada. tapos, pag nahalo mo na mabuti, isalpak mo sa sugat ng heart mo hehehe

    o kung ayaw mo ng amoy na pomada, ngumuya ka ng ngumuya ng bablogam tapos yun ang isalpak mo sa broken heart hehehe

    [Reply]

  2. PinkBiik on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 2:50 pm

    3. Aray ko!!! ang sakit sakit naman… it feels like someone stuck a dagger on my heart… there are really man who are selfish … there are woman who are just not lucky…

    teka lang noh… lumalabas ang aking split personality…

    hindi ko ko kaya ung mga ganyang story… gusto ko ung happy ending at ikaw ung bida… ayan na depress ako =-(
    mag chachange ng kulay ang balat ko di nako pink…

    *** i am hurting deep inside… nagugutom tuloy ako ***

    alam ko lang u never lose a love you never have kasi kung talagang love ka nya he is your ever and ever… parang fairytale ganun

    [Reply]

  3. Asthong Kutchong on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 4:12 pm

    4. To love is like working in a company. In earlier stage, somehow you will feel secure and appreciable. Soon thereafter, end becomes inevitable. Either you change employment or your service is no longer required.

    But life will still go on. And the next time you realize, you are employed in another Company, holding a more bigger thing (position).

    Since guys had always throw hell on your shoulder, why not choose another kind. Let say a girl for a change. Who knows she might be more than meets the eye.

    [Reply]

  4. kutang bato on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 4:37 pm

    5. Girl??? Nong kala mo ke Reynz, tomboy??? Ahihihi jokjokbulanti, wag mapipikon ang asthong *wink*..

    [Reply]

  5. kutang bato on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 4:40 pm

    6. Okray ka Reynz, sa dami ng boyfriends mo’t puro ka madly inlurrrvvv sa kanila, hmp care mo sa isa lang!

    [Reply]

  6. malen on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 5:16 pm

    7. ahahahahah…ahhahahaha…ahahahhahah…ahuhuhuhhu…ahuhuhuuhu…ahuhuhuhuhuhuh

    ano ba yan…natatawa ko na naiiyak sayo

    [Reply]

  7. malen on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 5:30 pm

    8. binabasa ko yun post mo while listening to this song, naman, nakakaiyak…hahahha. feel na feel ko mag emote. try mo i-experience.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_5olycnxGU]

    “What About Love?”
    by LEMAR

    What if I took my time to love you?
    What if I put no one above you?
    What if I did the things
    That really mattered?
    What if I ran through
    Hoops of disaster?

    No one would care if
    We never made it
    We’re in this alone
    So why don’t we face it
    There is no room to
    Blame one another
    We just need time to
    Forgive each other

    [Chorus:]
    What about love?
    What about feeling?
    What about all the things that make life worth living?
    What about faith?
    What about trust?
    And tell me baby…what about us?

    How can I give this
    Love a new beginning?
    How can I stop the rain?
    It’s never ending
    How do I keep my soul believing?
    Memories of how we
    Should be keep calling

    I’ll take the rivers rise
    I’ll take the happy times
    I’ll take the moments of disaster

    [Reply]

  8. diwatangbyaning on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 9:39 pm

    9. girl ba kamo para kay Reynz? Ehem-ehem-ehermmm

    [Reply]

  9. Chuva on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 10:58 pm

    10. anuva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mga nakikibaliw kayo sa lost love na yan.. leche!!

    When I think of home…

    [Reply]

  10. ghandee on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 12:10 am

    11. hala! nagdurugo ang puso ni inang ngayon…

    lika nga dito… hug kita. *hugz higpit*

    wag ka malongkot, andito naman kami eh. :)

    [Reply]

  11. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 5:50 am

    12. bea,

    galing me New York, punta nang Chinatown, naghahanap nang puting rabbit.

    [Reply]

  12. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 5:51 am

    13. pink na biik,

    sa fairytale na to? ako lang ang fairy. sya yung me tail. bwisit na yun!

    [Reply]

  13. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 5:53 am

    14. Asthong Kutchong,

    and what em eye gonna do wid her? ititirintas ung buhok? ai’nt gonna work. ni ayoko nga makakita nang suso noh! i get nightmares when dot happens

    [Reply]

  14. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 5:55 am

    15. kuta,

    sa totoo lang mudami me talaga boy friends. pero isa lang ang may i love you. monogamicitylicious ako noh? ba’t ganun? kung sino pang mahal mo, sya pa ginahasa nang hapon?

    [Reply]

  15. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 5:57 am

    16. chuvaness/malen,

    na-pa emote ako nang todo! nagmukhang pasig river tong kama ko!

    [Reply]

  16. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 5:59 am

    17. diwa,

    yaan mo, yon mga nalolokang bubwit saken, forward ko seo. meron na namang isa. puchang buhay to. saan makakabili nang pink suit pang-opisina? o kaya magbibit ako nang placard.

    [Reply]

  17. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:02 am

    18. chuva,

    nalasing ako. galing ako sa polish bar, tumigok nang tumigok nang vodka straight - grabe pala ang mga polish na to! said nya saken kanina - le’ts drown your sorrows. eto, alas dos na, nag-lalangoy ang aking sorrows.

    oo na! get ko na! tenk you sa post mo! nakalimutan mo…

    LOST WALLET and BROKEN REFS!

    [Reply]

  18. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:04 am

    19. ghandee,

    di ba me-nagpos dun sa isang article na SEAMANLOLOKO? hmpptt! yoko na talaga!!!!! peks mannnn!!!!

    [Reply]

  19. kutang bato on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:15 am

    20. OOOKKKKRAAAYYY na namaannnnn….Wede ba, simula pa lang alam mo naman na ang ending! Tahan na at maghanap ka ulit, marami dyan! The rule is, make every moment count because it ain’t gonna last girl…

    Next time, pag may nanghingi ng ref, dafat nandun ka mismo kapag nagbigay ka para makuha mo agad ang kabayaran, kaliwaan bah!!! Walang libre libre gurl, di na uso yan!

    [Reply]

  20. Chuva on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:20 am

    21. Ay naku, mam kutz - eh mas matigas pa ulo niyan sa batung puti no? Kaya kahin ano pang adbays diyan, basta magbibigay ng ref, washing machine at kung anu anu pang aplayanseses!!

    Basta ako, wa ako kowment - dahil baka maimbyerna lang aketch. Di naman siyang mukhang kulugo, bakit ba nagtiyatiyaga sa mga bayaran.. ewan!

    [Reply]

  21. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:22 am

    22. KALIWAAN?! nyuk! nyuk! nyuk! hahahahhaa! *miiyak* hahahahaha!

    [Reply]

  22. Chuva on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:25 am

    23. oo- kaliwaan!! yun bang hawak mo yung ref, sa kabila ***Censored*** - at huwag kang bibitaw hanggang hindi naibigay ang hilig!

    kuta - lowka ka - alas dos imedya na rito - bumubulantak ako ng katatatawa!! letche ka!

    [Reply]

  23. kutang bato on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:32 am

    24. Lukresia kasi ang isang iyan noh, jojombagin ko na nga’t baka umabot pa dito sa disyerto ang luha nyan at bumaha dine!!! Hmp!

    Uli uli gamitin mo yang utak mo ha? Kung nashashy kang magsabi in person, gumawa ka ng table ob gib aweys at ang katumbas na number ob hada, har har har!!! Piktapos, pag good behavior nila sa imo, avah, wede silang mag fin foynt ng feel nilang reward sa list ob gib aweys mo pero dafat malinaw sa kanila ang kavayaran!!! Chienes!!!!

    [Reply]

  24. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:40 am

    25. hahahaha!!! kahit bangag na bangag ako gulo gulo ko rito sa mga kabaliwan mo kuta at chuva! alas dos korenta na nang umaga!!!!!

    *tumawag Obet - ginapressure nga me na umuwi, tanggapin at kausapin ko na raw nga para matapos na. say ko, di ba tinapos na nya nga?

    padalhan ko na lang kaya nang mastercard?

    [Reply]

  25. kutang bato on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 6:49 am

    26. LETCHE! Kala nila ganun ka mura pamasahe! Para ano naman at kailangan sadyain pa ang kasal niya? Para mamigay ka ng regalo? Tse, baka sa iyo pa magpabili ng sapatos yon no? Yuck!

    [Reply]

  26. reynz on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 7:01 am

    27. *kumakanta*

    Dito ba?
    Dito ba?
    Ang dapat kung kalagyan?
    Sa isang sulok na . . . ( me nag teks tiga Flippines)

    si JC

    [Reply]

  27. ghandee on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 7:15 am

    28. ba’t ganun? kung sino pang mahal mo, sya pa ginahasa nang hapon?/b>

    ganon talaga inang… sabi nga nga ni diwa mabenta ang karneng me nagmamay-ari na! hehe.

    [Reply]

  28. diwatangbyaning on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 12:50 pm

    29. mambabae ka na lang kasi wala pang problema!

    [Reply]

  29. ceefive on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 3:23 pm

    30. Don’t cry over spilled milk…

    [Reply]

  30. dom OSB on Sat, 21st Jul 2007 10:21 pm

    31. dont yu wori reynz, madami pa naman diyan..babae,tomboy, lalaki, silahis,girl na girl or pa girl……makakapamili ka pa…..

    [Reply]

  31. reynz on Mon, 23rd Jul 2007 1:38 am

    32. ghandee,

    di ba nga?! kung ano yong bawal, tsaka naman ina-asam-asam

    [Reply]

  32. reynz on Mon, 23rd Jul 2007 1:39 am

    33. diwa,

    imposible talagang maging tomboy ako. gusto mong marinig ang next episode nang “crazy things happen when i take off my crown?”

    [Reply]

  33. reynz on Mon, 23rd Jul 2007 1:40 am

    34. dom OSB,

    eto, nag-sa-shapping na… hopefully, matino ang makuha ko, yong walang bahid na formalin

    [Reply]

  34. Dating Rules on Sun, 4th Nov 2007 1:22 am

    35. [...] In the back of my mind – “pakealam mo? “. Pero, ganito na lang ang sinagot ko: I don’t know. My lover is now married with someone else. Wala pa sa isip ko ang pag-aasawa. (Actually, I was referring to my ex!). [...]

  35. Dating Rules on Sun, 4th Nov 2007 1:22 am

    36. [...] In the back of my mind – “pakealam mo? “. Pero, ganito na lang ang sinagot ko: I don’t know. My lover is now married with someone else. Wala pa sa isip ko ang pag-aasawa. (Actually, I was referring to my ex!). [...]

  36. Hide n seek sa Podium with Sinaglaya on Sun, 18th Nov 2007 8:54 am

    37. [...] nyo nito many, many years ago, $15k den. Siguro, 1980’s at 1990’s. Kung nagkataong si Jeff ang nag-offer to marry me? Kahit ako pa ang magbigay nang $15k, basta ba’t pakakasalan nya [...]

  37. Happy Valentine’s y’all! : reyna elena dot com on Sat, 14th Feb 2009 12:44 am

    38. [...] new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!Irita ako. Up to now, di ko sya sya makalimutan. Pasensya na. Sinadya kong patayin ang ilaw. Ilaw nang pagmamahal. Ganyan kadilim. Ang puso ko [...]

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