3 Pinays trapped in toilet (or things you should never do in Italy)

June 22, 2007 by reyna10
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Sun.Star: When in Rome, do as the Romans do or end up getting cheated, humiliated, penniless or maybe even stranded. A trip to Italy’s tourist traps with my sister and cousin led us to misadventures we can never forget.

1. Never cheat on automated toilets

In Italy, the public toilets on the subways are automated. All you have to do is push a coin inside the slot for the stall door to open. One member of our tour group did that.

Owing to the Filipino trait of familial love extending to toilet habits, three people decided to share a stall. Unbelievably, thanks to the technology of the Japanese, the toilets can detect if there are more than one Filipino inside.

The stall automatically locked our three fellow tourists inside and signaled an alarm so loud that a local police had to unlock it for the peace of the public.

Needless to say, that was the last time anyone ever tried to pull a stunt on public toilets or anything automated for that matter.

2. Never believe in Italian taxi drivers (especially those at the train station)

We tried to hail a taxi at the train station where we were being extorted a hundred euros for a ride to the city. They - pertains to the whole mafia mob of taxi drivers who surrounded us.

I can hear “whispers of Japanese” in the background. You can also add “never try to look like a Japanese” on the list.

Arguing that we already took a cab for 10 euros, they reasoned that there is a public strike of cabs in the city and they are the only kind souls who will be willing to risk life and limb to take us.

Another driver offered us a ride at a lower price but the taxi mafia gave him looks of death until he meekly backed down into a corner. We took a bus instead at the cost of 1 euro only. And there was no such thing as a taxi strike that day.

3. Never believe in Italian taxi drivers ever (really)

We wanted to go to the Catacombs which was just a few minutes away. The taxi driver told us that the catacombs are already closed and suggested the Roman Baths farther ahead. He dropped us a block away from the baths saying that taxis are not allowed to unload.

He did not give us back our change despite what the meter says because the clock just struck 6 p.m. and that, according to the guidebook of Italian taxi drivers, qualifies as the evening rate. And when we finally arrived, we found the whole thing locked down and without a soul in sight.

We scrambled around to find anyone who can help us get a taxi. But all the replies we get is “no speak English” and “No no you cannot find taxi here”.

So here we are in the middle of nowhere when it started to rain. And then my cousin tripped into a pothole. And after 20 minutes of walking aimlessly into nowhere, Thank God we saw a subway.

4. Never put your money inside your pocket

If you think that we are in the running for the world’s most smartest thieves, then think again.

We do not stand a change with Italy in skill and precision. To safeguard your priceless possessions, sew it inside your jacket. Or hang your money around your neck. Or even better, put it inside your shoe. The smell alone will definitely deter any gypsies from stealing your money.

There is also another story of a male tourist who was delighted when three voluptuous gypsies immediately stuck their heavenly bodies on him on a crowded subway. After they were gone, so was his wallet. Let this be a lesson for husbands of the wandering kind.

5. Never take anything for granted

At St. Peter’s Basilica, we saw tombs after tombs of dead popes and other important people of the Catholic Church. Being raised in an all girls Catholic school run by nuns and still not being able to memorize the rosary, we were bored and passed by everything in 20 seconds.

There were extra long lines for the tombs of important people like Pope John Paul and a sign which says Cupola. We left early and had dinner at restaurant where the Filipino waitress tells us that St Peter’s Basilica, view from the top is breathtaking.

Our faces must have looked blank because she asked us slowly as if we cannot understand English “You went to the Basilica right? The Cupola? Did you not go to the Cupola?”

We ran all the way back to the Cathedral, paid extra for elevator access and ran up more than a hundred steps to the Cupola just minutes before it closed.

6. Never leave without a picture of the Sistine Chapel

Inside the Sistine Chapel is the famous ceiling of Michelangelo where millions of gullible tourists contribute to the banks of the Vatican to be able to say they have been there.

A sign is posted on all areas of the chapel: “Picture taking is not allowed.” But the millions of tourists still bring out their cameras and their camera phones to take pictures anyway.

The view from the doorway looked like a gathering of souls in hell trying to catch a glimpse of heaven above. In minute intervals, a guard will shout that picture taking is not allowed.

In that short moment, the tourists then pretend to return their cameras in their pockets when in reality, they are just resting to avoid neck strain. And then in a few seconds, they will whip up their cameras and resume taking pictures. Yours truly included.

(You can email the author at wandergirl28@yahoo.com.ph)

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26 Comments on 3 Pinays trapped in toilet (or things you should never do in Italy)

  1. pusa on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 7:37 am

    2. wow kaaliw naman un adventure nyo! post mo naman un mga pictures :)

    [Reply]

  2. diwatangbyaning on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 2:15 pm

    3. sino si wandergirl?

    [Reply]

  3. bluepanjeet on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 4:58 pm

    4. LOL. wawa naman yung 3 pinay. How did they ever fit their behinds into the bowl? hehe, if my barkada would read this story, their imagination will go wild i’m sure. 3 women in one toilet? LOL

    [Reply]

  4. issai on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 5:15 pm

    5. i saw this one in gmanews.tv, i was cracking up when i read this. i already warned my sister about this since she’s going to italy next month.

    [Reply]

  5. OTWOMD » Conscience and Prayer on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 5:37 pm

    6. [...] am truly grateful to Kip, Felmar, Dom, Ross, Skippy Heart, Reynz, Ronnie, Knoizki, Russ, Recedo, Jeprocks, Jaypee, Rino, Llarena, C5, Dessy, Claudia, Mimi, [...]

  6. reynz on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 11:01 pm

    7. pusa, that’s not my adventure. naloka lang ako nung nabasa ko! tawa ako nang tawa, as a matter of fact, exactly what bluep was thinking.

    call it culture. mahilig tayo sa cheap at libre. so, yong tatlong pinays - am absolutely sure ganun ang ginawa ang i could only imagine what happened to them locked up inside, sobrang kahihiyan siguro.

    i was in paris with june in 1999, and dun sa mcdo on champs elleysees, as in talaga puputok na talaga! abat! me bayad kamo ang CR! first time in my life! na shock ang probinsyana taz ni wala pa kaming francs dahil bagong salta.

    in budapest, it was a weird experience. my classmate was talking to 3 women. chika-chika, and when he got back to the hotel, that’s when he found out na nawala na yong passport niya ang cashiers check. tawa kami nang tawa kasi we were already warned na dito sa budapest at prague, medyas mo nanakawin nang di mo alam.

    i thought it’s actually interesting, bakit? eh pucha sa pinas ganun din naman di ba pag a-anga-anga ka!

    si chuva was in italy with our friend joey. kala nila, nakadali sila nang gwapo, tinawag sila, sinundan naman daw nila, later on, dinala pala ang dalwa sa girlie girlie bar, taz biglang labasan ang mga girls, order nang kung ano ano, eh ano pa bayad ang dalawang lukaret na nagmumura dahil girls din sila!

    when they came back to the US, tinawagan nila ang AMEX at sinabing nawala yong card nila, o di may i not pay ang AMEX sa mga gagong italyano.

    [Reply]

  7. Fendi on Sat, 23rd Jun 2007 7:04 pm

    8. The toilet scene was a dope! ;) kiss
    Fendi

    [Reply]

  8. dom OSB on Sat, 23rd Jun 2007 8:22 pm

    9. LOL….i died laughing–kasi gumana ang aking buhay na buhay at malikot na imahinasyon sa 3 pinays na na trap sa CR…oh boy..talaga nga naman….

    dami palang NEVER na dapat tandaan sa Rome… lalo na sa italy..

    [Reply]

  9. ceefive on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 2:12 am

    10. ang gulang kasi eh…

    [Reply]

  10. fruityoaty on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 4:15 am

    11. I must say, that gave me a lot of chuckles, lol. Really good read… and good travel tips!

    OMG, that toilet scenario actually happened? How mortifying… I’d be so embarassed! :D
    I’d add this Italy trip: when shopping in outdoor fruits & veggies market, do NOT EVER touch the produce on your own. The vendors totally hate it… unlike the vendors in Canada. They give you dirty looks and some will yell at you.

    [Reply]

  11. reynz on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 3:07 pm

    12. @fendi,

    you know in amsterdam, you can smoke them in a “coffee house” (an tanga ko nga nun, kala ko kapehan talaga!) i don’t know much about italy, siguro they could have smoked somewhere kung type nila or ganun nga ang nangyari.

    [Reply]

  12. reynz on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 3:09 pm

    13. @c5,

    di ba ganun naman he he he, puro palibre ha ha ha! dapat maidagdag to dun sa Filipino Culture blog article

    [Reply]

  13. reynz on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 3:12 pm

    14. @domOSB,

    ow? share mo nga kung ano yong nasa imagination mo? he he he! i just wanna reconcile wid what i thought what they were doing! he he he!

    [Reply]

  14. reynz on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 3:16 pm

    15. @fruityoaty,

    you’re right about that kasi we’ve experienced that in toronto, kahit na dun sa mississauga. nabulyawan ang lola mo when i was like himas himas nong mangga, meron kasi kayong mga mangga na galing nang pinas di ba? eh kami wala! susme yong maldita sinigawan ako! natapon yata kaluluwa ko! grabeee!!!

    [Reply]

  15. ros on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 5:36 pm

    16. heheh

    hindi lang ang pinoy ang magulang…

    mga japs din na naka pila sa toilette…teknik nila, after gumamit, bago sumara yun door ng CR, pipigilan nila para makapasok agad ang isa!
    So ayun hindi sila sabay sabay sa loob katulad ng pinays..so tipid sila: 10 japs = 50 cents or 1 euro, depende sa lugar.
    :)

    [Reply]

  16. reynz on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 6:09 pm

    17. ross anak,

    he he he, mga kebigan mo ba there community weewee ang ginagawa? he he he

    [Reply]

  17. ros on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 6:42 pm

    18. hehhe inay

    puro nga wee wee pee pee…dahil siguro sa cafe :)

    [Reply]

  18. reynz on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 6:45 pm

    19. HA HA HA! I could see, Italians are really smart business people, di ba? That’s a real good business strategy - painumin mo nang painumin nang kape and then open a Toilet Stall na me bayad. O di chienes!!!

    [Reply]

  19. bluepanjeet on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 9:46 pm

    20. LOL wala kayo sa lola ko. pagkakatapos gumamit ng tissue, ipapasa sa kaibigang nag-aantay sa labas ng toilet para syang gamitin sa susunod LOL LOL LOL

    Good Morning po. Monday morning back to review!!!

    [Reply]

  20. Ellen Tordesillas on Sun, 24th Jun 2007 11:19 pm

    21. This is really funny. Very Pinoy.

    [Reply]

  21. reynz on Mon, 25th Jun 2007 3:03 am

    22. OH MY GAWDDD!!! Is that you Ellen?!

    LADIES AND GENTS! That’s mah dear ellen of http://www.ellentordesillas.com!

    That’s another royalty visiting my site!

    Can you imagine?!

    Thanks for the visit Ellen!!!

    [Reply]

  22. chuvachienes on Mon, 25th Jun 2007 3:21 am

    23. nyeta, nai-tsismis na naman ako ng reyna. hooy!! huwag mo namang ibulgar ang kadugasan ko. he-he! kung lalaki sana ang pinalabas nila sa mga kurtina, i’m sure pay and pay kamin ng joelita - - palabasin ba naman mga pusa! haaayyY!! pretend kami ng tita joelita na boys kami.. para huwag kaming bugbugin nung bouncer.

    it was a funny experience now, pero at that time - WIIIIIIZZZZZZZZ!! ;)

    [Reply]

  23. reynz on Mon, 25th Jun 2007 3:57 am

    24. chuva,

    yaan mo, i didn’t tell them about yong mga boys na pinag-aral nyo nang nursing sa italy! he he he! ooops! *i did it again!

    [Reply]

  24. ceefive on Mon, 25th Jun 2007 7:53 am

    25. grabe yan bluep ah…yaiks!

    [Reply]

  25. wandergirl on Fri, 21st Dec 2007 2:06 pm

    26. Hi! happen to actually google my own email and was pleasantly surprised… im really honored to see that you posted my article on your site…thanks! thanks! and yes everything really happened and it turned out to be a lovely fodder of material for this article.

    dotty b

    [Reply]

  26. reynz on Sat, 22nd Dec 2007 5:44 am

    27. FINALLY! I think I sent you an email before or right after I posted this one. Am glad you were able to stop by!!!

    [Reply]

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