Will I ever find one like him again? (Part 2)

Read Part 1

Part 2

Inside the car, I was crying like you could not have imagined. Dati naman kasi, pahikbi hikbi lang ako. (Beaaa! Paki-abot nga nang panyu!!!) I mean this time? Uma-atungal ako! Hagulhul evah evah! Kumakalog ang kotse ko while I cry! Flooded na pati passenger’s side. Meanwhile, “I hope you dance!”? pa ang nyetang radyo!? Ini-off ko sya! Tigil!!! Tumigil ka!@#$% *hinampas ko nang sibuyas* (ewan ko ba’t me sibuyas sa kotse ko! *kamot ulo*)

Then I heard? a knock! knock who’s there?! I looked and it was the security guard!

R ? nopoyon?

Sikyo ? plat hu tayr nyu!

R – Huh?! Tumigil iyak ko. Hinipan ko tires.

Mike and I have so many memorable moments. One of which is this one.

I nevah evah attended any of the xmas parties at work. That pisses him off like crazy! He He He I have a lot of alibi! You need one? I can come up with a dozen!

Eh kasi ba naman, they talk about soccer (nyak!), football (eeek!), association meetings (what?!), golf (ow?), fishing (well, I have a different fishing version! Hello!), etsetera, etsetera, etsetera. None of those are of any interests? for the people, by the people, of the people like me. Ako?! Well, wag na nating pag-usapan. You already know what topic is like Viagra to me.

M ? Get your ass on next week’s party! No more alibis! Enough!

R ” (Iiiik! Sungit!) But Mike….

M – PARTY! I WANT U’R ASS!

R – ‘hokey! *kumudrado muka*

Tinawagan ko sawa ko. Waaaaatttt! Ammmmm buzzzzzzy!!@#$”>buzzzzzzy!!@#$%?

Hudas na asawa kong to! She was in a bar! Alas kwatro nang hapon!

Ah kol u bak! Bar!@#$%^&ng!

Nyeta! Nabagsakan ako nang fone! A little later, tumawag.

Sawako ? Sino na naman inaway mo? Bilisan mo’t me ngumingiti sa akin!

R ? Wala! I need a wife.

Sawako ? Eto na naman tayo! Hanggang stage wife na naman ako! Me pupuntahan ako!

R ? Me utang ka pa sakin.

Sawako ? Puta ka talaga!

R ? Sabado, alas cinko impunto, andito ka sa balay ko. Bar!@#$%^&ng!

I really don’t know if Mike knows something about my royalty. Minsan, we talk about boobshit. Gusto nya pala ala-mayon na boobs. Kaya, sumali ako sa gym. Pump ako nang irons! Pinalaki ko chest ko!?

One time, we were at the gym, I was changing and there was this nude guy standing in front of me at nakikipagwentuhan asking me westions, siguro tumiwalag sa oblation run, and when I look up! Ekkkkk! Hey, Mike! How you doin’? (He He He kala nyo wento ko nakita ko?! wede ba!? nyeta nyo!!!! dutch for my eyes only!!! He He He I love my boss!!!)?

Party Time

Dumating sawako. Hayop! Ang ganda! Naka beemer!? Sha yung? da devil wears prada!? Mukha talagang tao nung napinturahan. Saya ko! And so we drove to the Princeton Marriott Hotel where we were gonna have the party.?

As we drove, I read her Miranda rights.

Maldita. Makinig ka. Eto ang role mo.

Alas dyis ? lovey, dovey tayo. You feed me fud, I feed you fud, I give you drinks, you give me drinks and we laugh. Now, let’s practice the laugh. Hokey? Ha Ha Ha He He He

Halas honse ? kakwadro muka mo, sisimangot ako.

Halas dose ? you? Me? Fight. We are fighting.

Hala una ? Lalayasan mo na ako. Git it?

Halas doz ? Ayokong Makita kalulwa mo here. Intiendicitas?

Sawako ? eh pano kung nag-eenjoy pa ko.

R ? Hindi ka mag-eenjoy. Sisiguraduhin ko yon.

Sawako ? eh wats in diz for me?

R ? Kaltas ko half utang mo.

It was already a bit crowded when we arrived. Mike, the CEO and the rest of the senior management were by the door. Sinong kinasal? Ganito yata sila. They greet everyone na pumasok dun sa lagusan na yon. Mike was smiling when he saw me. Sinimangotan ko. Natawa sya.

M – You look good!

Kinudrado ko muka ko. Humagalpak nang tawa.

M – And this is???

R – Oh, that’s sawako. Sawako, Mike. Mike, sawako.

Mike was impressed of her!

Inggit opismeyts ko. Ganda sawako. Sarap nang feeling when everybody is jealous! Ha! Ha! Ha! So, we are proceeding very well with our roles. You know she feeds me, I feed her, she gives me drink, I give her drink. Checked! The laugh? Very well choreographed! Double checked!

Then, nawala ang maldita! Teka, wala pa ala-una ah! Mag-aaway pa kami! Aba! Katsika nang ulangya ang Mike! Tok sila nang tok! Pa-smile smile and todong halakhak! Nilalait kaya nila ako?!

Alas dose na!

Nag-ala una na!

!@#$%^&*! Inaway ko na talaga syang tunay! Ang sawako, nabangag nang tequila! Ayaw na umalis! Hu Hu Hu Sawako lumayas ka na! Plisss! Nakikiusap ako! You go girl! You GOOO!!!

Dumating ang Mike.

M – We’re leaving in a few minutes. Here’s the direction ?I’ll met you there! Bring her with you!

R – Huh? Ano to? What and where? Annnnddd HER???!!!

Nakangiting aso sawako!

M ? Don’t ask! Don’t tell! Get your ass over there!

Kahit kelan! Sungit sungit nito sakin! OO NA NGA! He smiled. So we drove. Directions took us to Trenton. It was a really nice Italian Restaurant. I was with the management team for another drinking party.

They always say ? don’t shit where you work. Huh? Ang guguwapo talaga nang mga opismeyts ko! Wedeng exception to the rule? And this Jim guy? Awww! He’s hot!

Whereas my wife is having such a grand time! More tequila please! Wes, I was enjoying my time as well. Ah with somebody. No, not Mike. He He He My sawako and I were seated together, magkatabi kami. As the hours go by, uma-atras yung mga upuan namin. Until, andun na kami in separate tables! Sa lasing nang sawa ko! Naibulatlat nya ang tunay na laman nang kalulwa ko!!! Pinagmayabang pa!

Driving home dun pa lang namin nagawa’t tapusin yung dapat naming gawing mag-away. Nag-ngi-ngitngit ako!

R – You’re not invited to any of our office parties no more!!!?. VROOM! VRRRRROOOOMMMMMMMM!!!

Crying Area

The secretary went to my office. Bukas daw viewing. Sama na lang daw ako sa kanila. They knew I was a freak nong mabalitaan ko kasi. They were concerned na baka lumangoy ako sa Hudson River. The VP-Admin and her husband the Gen. Counsel were very nice to me.

There were a lot of people sa viewing. Me mga dyitims, but I was the only aboridyinis. Soon as I saw him I started crying and I couldn’t control the cry shit! I did not realize na me crying area pala! Ba! Malay ko! Nakatunganga ang madla saakin! Siguro tinatanong nila kung sino ang siokoy na yon! The mother came to me and walked me to the well crying room. The father saw the mother and he joined me there. Dumating din ang wife. All of them were trying to console me. Nag-mistula akong concubine! And Diwa?! I was not paid to do that. Hokey?

Ang Multo

A day later, he was laid to rest.

Weeks piktapos nang everything, I must have visited Mike four times! Minsan, ako lang. There was a time na mag-isa lang ako, kumalog nang kumalog ang trunk nang kotse ko!

R – Mike! Wag mo akong gaganituhin?!

Kalog pa rin nang kalog! Natawa na lang ako. But I swear, medyo natakot ako. But then, nong natakot ako, nawala yung noise. I told the VP-Admin, ayaw maniwala. Tawa nang tawa! A ewan!

I swear, wala namaing tao dun, maniwalaaaa kayooo!!!. May I light a candle and leave it there. Yong mga anak naman nya would pour coffee sabi nang wife. That’s why I thought I smell coffee there! My last visit was in 2004 before going home to Manila. Then, hindi na ako bumalik.

Back in Princeton

Samantala naman, sa tarbahu sumtin’s going on..

Remember Pidro? Toktok sya office ko and and told me, you’ll be fine. After he left, I stared at the window and I could hear it YOU’LL BE FINE?. No ibig sabihon non? Something’s gonna happen and I’ll be fine? But he is Pidro?

Nagmistulang Afghanistan ung opis namin. Nakaron nang some sort of re-alignment of forces?. Nag-a-away away na pala na parang sa senado nang flippines. Ganito ang awayan nila:

“pokemon! uta ka! sama ka sa EYE SEE DID PIPOL! kurap! tae mo! diploma ko harbard! san? sa cubao? kikipedia! pediamurin! swapang! kaw tong aswang! supot! nanilip ka!? tado! anong sisilipin e sex chengz ka! emonyu ka talaga! butiki! udaz ka rin!”

Mike’s gone kaya the COO position is open. Daming gusto nang upuan nya. Ung president nang advertising division namin na byaning is fighting for that position. Kasama na ung general manager nang radio division namin. Well, sama mo na si Pidro. Matindi ang labanan. Puro mga puti. Sa totoo lang, subtle lang sila. Pa-smile, smile, pa “hi”, “hi” pero kwidaw day! hayop tumigbak nang tao ang mga yan!

Weeks passed tatlo sa Sales ang pinalayas. Kasama na ung senior sales manager. Then, pinag-alsa balutan ako’t nilipat sa Realty Division namin. Lateral chance daw! Whatever! Eh bakit nag-hire sila nang bago sa posisyon ko? Kagagawan pala nang bagong COO na hindi pa nirerecognize! !@#$%^&*, ganun ang galit ko!

Den, biglang nag-resign ang byaning na president! Nagkakagulo na opis. Daming rumors. Meanwhile, yong GM nang radio naming, nilipat sa advertising at ginawang President. Di rin? nya gusto yon! Low profile eh!? Ganito ang galit nya: !@#$%^&*,!

So, looks like si Pidro mananalo… Wrong! Ganito din ang galit nya: !@#$%^&*,!

Nag-hire nang ibang COO ang CEO. You would think na tapos na ang gulo? Nah.

Nagbitbit nang sarili nyang team ang hudas na COO. Result? Tuluyan nang natanggal ako as CFO. Dalwang linggo bago ko magradweyt nang MBA, gi-tawag man ko sa opis. I knew that I was going to be a VP dahil sa ganda ko. Pero, piktapos akong palayasin? ilipat nang ibang pisina?, my feelings were mixed, but, excited pa rin ako about this meeting.

The CEO and the new COO was there. Soon as I entered the room, the COO left. I smelled something fishy Bea!!! Isda Bea!! Issdddaaa!!!!

The CEO opened his mouth and did not clap his hands:

“You may start looking for a new job. You have another 2 weeks to stay with us, you can leave early if you want.”

… (Continued on Part 3)…

Tagged as: Great Boss, Mike