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Eye wander what Joey’s doing now? Said bababa daw sya nang bundok ngayon. Wala namang tawag. Hmmmm… Baka nag-enjoy sa bundok? Back to bed… I slept the whole day… kulog man ulo ko ‘day from last night!

Morris, on the other hand, is like one of the nurses here who is excitedly praning sa date namin mamya! He’s been using my airtime minutes at talagang di mapakali ang gurl! We are going to BED! Yeah! We are! My “O”, my “J”, Morris and his friend! In BED. All of us.

M - Reynz(!) what time we’re meeting? 10?

R - Gurrrl(!) i have a tight schedule tonite. Ahhh….(teka lang ha? azan secretary ko?! appointments ko azan?! ayuzin mo yan kundi pakainin kita nang flurwax!) Shangrila at 8, Mall of Asia, Airport then our date in Malate. What about 11 or 12? Or maybe even earlier?

I picked up my “O” and we head off to Shangrila. Ang guapo nya lord! An swit-swiit! Masaya an lola ninyo when we’re tugider! But you see, my darling “O” has a sikret. He has a gurpren! Waaa… Waaaa…. HUWAAA!!! Yeap, nyeta talaga nya! He confided this to me nong sang gab-i. Nong kami eh nag-ja-jack-en-poy. They’ve been dating for years now. He said blah blah blah chienes chienes chuvalinga chuvalais. Ahhhhh…. hokey. Read: Tigilan mo na ako Reyna (!) Read ba nang ego mo?! (Damot nito! Hmppt!). Prends na lang tayo. You have any idea kung gano kasakit yon kuta? KUTTAA! Ansaaakkkiiitttt!!!

FAYN! Prends kung prends!!!

So we drove to Shangrila… warning nga ni Momnibochok - traffic evah evah dito, at habang naka-park ang kotse namin sa gitna nang EDSA, there were these kids na kakatok nang kotse mo… “Sir…meri krismas ho!”… Nangisay yata kalulwa ko (!)… he he he, I mean, here I am, alang ginawa alak-lalaki at alak - and you see these kids…

So, I handed down about 50-peso coins. EEEEEEEEEKKKK! Dagsaan ang mga bata!!! Saan nanggaling ang mga mokong nato?! Nag-multiply!!! Me kumakatok din dun sa kabila!

After handing down another 50-peso coin siguro, kumakalembang naman sa side ko! ANOOOTOOOO!!!! Alis na nga tayo! Vrroom vrroomm!

Can you imagine kung mga hunks yon at mga tiga-Adonis yung kumakatok sa kotse ko? I mean, kung si Vinicius Nival yon, ewan ko lang! Baka pati titulo nang condominium ko binigay ko!!! Yong lupa namin sa bikol? Sanla ko pa!

Over at Shangrila…

my dear “O” introduced me to his gurl.

O - Gurl, this is Reynz. Reynz this is gurl.

R - (Hmmptt! In fairness, maganda sya! *simangot*) Hi! nice meeting yah!

O, tama na! Lika na! Hmmptt! (Actually, she’s a very sweet, beautiful young lady. He He He. I don’t mind my “O” with her. Really. Hu Hu Hu!)

On our way, ah-told “O” - ano pa ba kulang sakin at meron ka pang gurl? Pinag-aral kita nang narsing! Binigyan nang load! Gipadalhan ug balikbayan baks! Ano fa?!

O - gusto mo bang isa-isahin ko ang kulang sau?

R - wag na! vrroom (!) VRROOMM (!)

We picked up “J” and we’re now headed to Malate. I am going to BED with O, J, Morris and his friend. You see, BED is a hot, I mean - really hot dance club in Malate. Dun kami go karon gabi-i.

But Morris called: Hey! Reynz! It’s a bit early! Can we go somewhere else before going to BED? Sure! Let’s head off to Greenbelt! It’s a really cool place to be!

We got lost inside the Greenbelt Square. Ihing ihi pa naman kamiiiii!!! So, we saw this komport room na open! Daretso kaming pasok! Do you see the sign? It’s the ladies room! Nag-ta-ta-lak ang lady guard! Rapist daw kami! I was gonna tell the lady guard! Don’t you smell sumtin’ from me sweety?!

Yup, pati yong dalwa binitbit ko sa Ladies Room! 

Anyway, we didn’t find the place! Morris and his friend have to pick us up at Italliani’s, and then we head back to Starbucks Coffee.

Pipol! Let me tell you sumtin’! This place is awesome! Di va? Need I say more after watchin’ da video? Walang ganito sa Philly, hokey?! WALLLA! I love this place! It’s fun!

So now, you saw my “J”. He’s ahh… tres beau! Kaso, he - like “O” has a gurpren. Hmmpt! Sya, di ko pinag-aral nang nursing. Pinag-shopping ko sya. So, I said - “J”  Y U not answer fone wen I col? Aber? Banas daw sya. Yong last na cheke na pinadala ko, tumalbog. I-aakusa daw nya akong estafa. KUTTTAAA!!! I need a lawyer!!!

Ok. Ok. Ok. To talaga totoo. Bespren ko lang talga ang dalwang yan. As bespren, eye lab them both. Both are close to my heart. Is that acceptable enough?! Can we move on wid diz story telling a lie?

Well, bekoz dami local and international aboridyinis here, we thought, hummm… let’s not go to BED na lang. Let’s stay here.  So, off we went to the other end. It’s a bar called CENA.

This is their menu…

Eh, ung alak list kasi sa likod ‘alang logo kaya baka akala nyo inu-ulol ko rin kayo! So, type naming mag-vodka, right?

R - Wetress… do you have grey goose?

W - Wala po. Meron po kami fried chicken.

R - Inu-ulol mo ba ako?!

W - Naku, hindi ho! ‘ala talaga kaming goose na kahit na anong kulay dito!

R - Fine. Give us, 3 vodka and cranberry and 1 lite beer (sa aking “O”).

I knew from experience that most Manila’s bar, even the high-end ones have no friggin idea how to do mixed drinks, or at least, I have yet to run a bar like that! Aboridyinis here? They’re used to beer. Beer. BEERRR! BEEEEEERRRRRR!

Dutch Y, this vodka cranberry? Taste like cranberry and woootah. A lot of wooootaaah. Woootang-ina! Two thumbs down from Morris!

So, why don’t we try gin and tonic? Sounds good?

Gin and tonic arrived. Guess? It’s gin and moooore woooootttaaah. A lot of wooootaaahh! Woootang-ina again! Meanwhile, ang Morrisya napansin ko, nainis! Omorder nang pulang alak!

Well, shot na lang tayo nang tequila. So, tequila is it!

We must have had a dozen tequila shots at etong Morrisya omorder naman this time nang puting alak. Aktwali, bangag na ako. Tingin ko mukhang ihi. At dahil puro woootaah and mixed drinks, we decided to stick with cranberry and woootaah and more shots of tequila.

Result?!

(Oi, me permiso ako ki morriya nito ha?)

Let me tell you sumtin. Paris? Yah… muganda sya! But this place?! Da best! London? Yah… been there! Di kasing saya dito! hokey? Tokyo? Eh ni hindi nga ngumiti sayo ang mga kolokoy sa Shinjuko District bars no? This is IT! No matter what they say about my own turd world kawntri? Masaayaaa ditoooo!!! That’s why diz plezzz is soooo crowded with a lot of local and international aboridyinissss!!!

So… let’s all GET UP! STAND UP! STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS!

Mary? Did you know?! All those for only… tadannnggg!!! 

Mary? Did you know some more?! We had such a great time!! Ang Morrisya actually forgot whatever happened dun sa guy na binitbit nya! Ha! Ha! Ha! Where could he be? Morris! Azan na ang boy mo? Zan mo tinapun gurl? Instead? Morris is busy…

I mean… really busy!

Unfortunately, Morris payrents are strict! May I call ang mom and she send in the driver to pick him up!

Den, my fone got bombarded with a lot of MORRISAGES!

M - fkrrr! I am jealous!!! I hate you! I hate you a lot! I hate you more!!!
R - That’s normal gurl. Ebribadi is jealous of me.
M - I want J!!! I want his smile!
R - For a fee. He’s my product.
R - Morris?! Can you hear me now?! You still there gurl?! *tok*tok* Hmmm…

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